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The Ninja Squirrel Knight

by Jordan Screws (Age: 30)
copyright 12-24-2005

Age Rating: 7 +

Once upon a dreadfully boring autumn day, I was walking about my backyard, having finished my college homework for the day. I was meandering about aimlessly until I came upon a gray squirrel standing upright. A tiny white bandana with the Rising Sun emblem of Japan was on its head, and it seemed to be practicing a martial art! "A ninja squirrel huh? This should prove to be amusing..." I thought as I picked up a nearby pebble, seeking to amuse myself with its antics as it fled from the advance of a superior creature.

I took the pebble, aimed the best my limited coordination would allow, and threw it saying "Dodge THIS!" I expected a complete miss or at best a near hit, but for once my projectile's trajectory was on target. A hit seemed almost certain... but at the last moment, the squirrel leapt in the air and split it with a kick! "Inconcievable!" I said to myself as the squirrel landed on its hind legs and assumed the Mantis Shaolin style. It started trembling and chanting something in squirrel language, and the situation definitely did not look good as it dashed towards me and leapt onto my pants leg.

It ran up my arm and into my hand before I could react fast enough to shake it off. Expecting a bite, I closed my eyes and braced for the bite and following rabies shots, but instead a loud and deep voice beckoned to me. "Jordan... JORDAN! PAY ATTENTION!" the squirrel shouted in clear English! I looked at it and it bowed low and cleared its throat as it prepared to talk again.

"I am Master FurryFist, Jonin of the Georgia Ninja Squirrel Clan. I have been waiting for you..."

"A ninja squirrel?! I KNEW THEY EXISTED!" I cried to him.

"You are the only one to notice our true activities. Day in and day out, we pilfer bird feeders for food and do other squirrel activities. That is the face we show to the world in the daytime. But at night, we become ninja squirrels, the stealthiest creatures of the animal world!" said Master FurryFist with a certain air of pride.

"So... what do you want with me?" I asked Master FurryFist, who stood with his arms crossed.

"In the Moon Kingdom, there was an eccentric yet highly skilled knight who protected King Endymion and Queen Serenity along with the rest of the royal family. He was sent to Earth with the rest of the Sailor Senshi and the Princess Serenity. I believe YOU are the reincarnation of the Ninja Squirrel Knight!"

"The Ninja Squirrel Knight?! While it sounds utterly insane... I HAVE dreamed of commanding armies of ninja squirrels and fighting evil with a sword lately! Tell me more, Master FurryFist!" I beseeched him.

"I knew you would be interested..." he chirped with a smile. "When the Sailor Senshi and the Princess were sent here, we were also transported. Queen Serenity turned us into squirrels, as befitting our stealthy ways. She gave me something to give to the reincarnated Ninja Squirrel Knight!" With that declaration, he summoned his followers to bring something from deep within their dojo. The followers formed a line and passed what appeared to be a long silver object from within the tree, then they walked to my feet, dropped it, and bowed while touching their head to the ground before me!

"It is the blade of the Ninja Squirrel Knight. It was a gift from Sailor Jupiter and the Queen... she knew of his interest in katanas and had Queen Serenity order the forging of a blade that could vanquish any evil upon a touch! It is called the Moonlight Masamune, and it holds within it the hopes and wishes of Queen Serenity. Use it well, Ninja Squirrel Knight!" he said with a theatrical flourish.

I gripped the hilt of the silver blade and felt the power of the ages flow through the handle into my hand. Even though I had never used a real sword, I held it and swung it effortlessly as if I had been raised from birth to use one! "One more thing..." added Master FurryFist. "To transform into your armor, grip the hilt of your blade and smash your fist into the ground while calling out Moon Knight Revival!"

I gripped the hilt as instructed, slammed my fist into the ground and called out "Moon Knight Revival!"
A pale blue light surrounded me and lifted me off the ground, and my arms, legs, and chest felt as if they were growing heavier! When the light faded, I looked upon myself and saw a drastic change in my appearance.
I had two-tone black armor, a black scarf covering my mouth, and the Moonlight Masamune, not to mention a feeling of power I had never felt before!

"You ARE the Ninja Squirrel Knight! You are the one chosen to aid the Sailor Senshi and defeat evil wherever it may appear. But you are not alone! If you should ever require it, I shall aid you the best I can! Now go and smite evil in the name of justice!" Master FurryFist cried.

I dashed off to find evil while testing my new abilities. I leapt from rooftop to rooftop like a true ninja and leapt wall-to-wall to climb buildings. A dark alley spewing lavender mist attracted my attention, so I sneaked over and examined the situation. Ten blue demons in red cloaks surrounded something while one of them had a knife raised in the air, and on what appeared to be an altar was a girl with pink hair done like rabbit ears!

"H...HELP!" cried the girl. "You will be a worthy sacrifice to the great Wiseman!" said the one with the knife raised. Without a moment to lose, I leapt from the rooftop and cut a demon down the middle as I landed. "Who is that?! KILL HIM" cried the leader. Three rushed me, and I reflexively did a diagonal slash as hard as I could. The first, then the second, then the third fell apart as a crescent beam shot from the Moonlight Masamune!

Four more were behind me and were already in mid-air by the time I turned around. Swinging a right-to-left slash as quickly as possible, they screamed as they tasted my blade, then turned into ashes. "R...R... RUN!!!" cried the one with the knife as he and the other two survivors fled, but I said "Too late..." and dashed in front of them. While they panicked, I slashed the two lackeys in half and stabbed the knife-wielding one through the torso while facing him. He writhed on the Moonlight Masamune and asked "Who... WHO are you?!"

"I am called The Ninja Squirrel Knight. But your sort can call me The Black Knight of Despair!" I growled to him. "The Black Knight of Despair? He is alive once more?! HOW..." the demon leader said as he crumbled to ashes. Hearing voices crying "There she is!", I climbed a wall and perched on the roof as five girls in different-colored sailor outfits rushed to the pink-haired one, whose name I heard was "Chibi-Usa". "A man in black armor and a black scarf saved me! He called himself the Ninja Squirrel Knight..." Chibi-Usa said.

"Strange... that name sounds familiar..." said a girl clad in green. Her name seemed to be "Sailor Jupiter", as "Sailor Mercury" called her.
The height, the brown hair, the green sailor suit... as I gazed upon her from my rooftop perch, she seemed familiar to me. I had not the courage to approach her then, but I knew we would meet again somehow, somewhere...

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        01-16-2007     Euna Park        

It was the title that drew me in here. XD Yet another amazing *coughfunnycough* fanfic!! Do you have a crush on Sailor Jupiter or what?

        03-31-2006     Mike Macdonald        

Certainly amusing. God, this brought back a dozen chatroom conversations in the first few paragraphs. I seriously need to get away from you guys...

Alright, alright, back to business. The narrative is good and the action was easy to follow. Easy reading's always good. As for the subject matter, well, it's difficult to give a good critique for this piece since I'm in on the joke at this point. But I could totally see you grinning while you wrote this, and that was enough for me.

The most important issue I wanna bring up today pertains to writing lines of dialogue: ALWAYS start a new paragraph when the speaker changes. This makes it much easier to keep track of who's talking when. I'd also proofread a couple more times to weed out redundancies. Otherwise it looks good!

        03-18-2006     Richard Reed Jr        

~rolls out ceremonial red carpet~


Sir Jordan,

I'm glad I stopped by to read this piece.
It's ichi ban (#1)= excellent. I had a little of everything, adventure, excitement, suspense, and humor. ~extremely well-writtn. It's worthy of publication.

~bows and skips off into the air~


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