10 things not to do at a funeral
by
Paula T.
(Age: 15)
copyright 12-28-2005
Age Rating: 4 to 127
10- Strike up a conversation with the older people attending the service, and at one point of the conversation say in a loud, raspy voice "You're NEEEEXXXTTT."
9- Announce in a high-pitched, annoying voice "I thought black was slimming. Looking at you people, I'm glad I wore white."
8- Tug your mother's hand and say, loud enough to be heard by everyone around you, "I want to be cremated when I croak."
7- Come up to the priest in the middle of his speech and announce that grandpa told you he wants an air conditioner down there.
6- Strike up a conversation with the corpse (this is more effective if the casket is open) about how they feel about spending eternity in a cold, damp grave.
5- At the beginning of the service, while the priest is saying something to a crying audience, run up to the grave, whisper a couple of words to grandma, listen to her reply, nod your head in understanding and run back to your seats oblivious to the points and stares of greiving people.
4- Yell "I didn't do it" over and over until you're carted away in a straightjacket. This is preffered
to singing "Ring around the Rosy" as loud as you can until you are carted away to the same doom as the previous choice.
3- Start having a coughing fit anytime anyone says
" __________ (Name here) was a kind, caring person ."
2- Run around the aisles yelling at the voices to stop.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING NOT TO DO AT A FUNERAL IS...
1- Yell "I see dead people" at the top of your lungs.
Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
OMG! That was halarious, I was cracking up! *coughs and trys to hold her breath* Ok, that was awesome! Yah, imagine saying, I see dead people! At the top of your lungs....or the air conditioning thing...that was awesome! Hey, you really need to make more stuff like this! So funny!
LOL!that was very funny.I'd have to say my cousin
Danielle would shout "I see dead people!" trust me
she would.to tell you the truth,I'm not a funeral
type person...well,when the casket is open.
lol That was great. You really need to write more of these. If I did any of these at a funeral, I would be thrown out....*ponders* Would be fun though...Hmm....Maybe I'll give it a go.
Lol, really?
I wouldn't be able to face dead people, seeing little kids die of diseases and hear tragic stories of how people's deaths came to be.
I'm obsessive compulsive and very emotional.
that sucks, because I can't see a fire without crying for days.
As you can guess, I'm not much of a news person...
I see a stand-up comic in the making! This is too funny. What a great sense of humour, a little morbid maybe, but great humour none-the-less. I think one reason I find it so funny, is that I always wanted to be a Funeral Director; no joke, I really did.
Welcome !
