Friends
by
Mehrina B.
(Age: 13)
copyright 12-29-2005
Age Rating: 7 to 127
I was innocent once
Pure, sweet, and loving
But the years have been shaping me
I received only hatred and indifference
My brothers treat me like a stupid, simple-minded slave
My parents favor me
But only as their most intelligent child
They don't love me the way I want
The way I need
Yet, I pushed it all away
I told myself I was horrible to think what I did
That all these people didn't deserve what they have
I tried to please them all
And in doing so, I lost myself
I lost my mind, my pure mind
I lost my heart, my loving heart
But I know how to survive
Survival of the fittest, right?
I shaped another mind
A strong, steely mind
I shaped another heart
A cold, closed heart
I managed to push through
I know that the worst is coming, though
I've known it all along
The time will come
When I will be forced to give myself up
I will be forced to obey
I will be forced to act feminine
I will be forced to marry
I would rather die
These thoughts plague me
I become cold and venomous
I care for nothing, nobody
Not myself, not the world
I feel hatred, distasteful hatred
But I've grown to like it
To savor the venom
But then, I enter a new world
Where I find my friends
All the friends I depend upon
The only people I would give anything for
I talk with them, and laughter comes easily
The sun shines, the moon twinkles, and the stars dance
And that's when I feel happiness
I wonder at the happiness
At the laughter
At the sheer joy
I feel like singing
Loud and clear
I feel like flying
Long and far
I forget everything
And laugh
The sweet laughter
That I knew so long ago
I treasure my friends above all
They're my light
Then, I sigh
Because I have to slip back into my world
And everything turns dark
And I become cold and venomous
And I feel hate
I savor the venom coursing through me
But every night, when I'm in bed
I look up, and envision the stars
The stars, and sun, and moon
And of course, my friends
And I smile
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I totally agree that this write gives one the impression of the author being much older than you are. There is a lot of feeling in this, a lot of different feelings. I hope that most of this write comes from your creative side.
Good job!
BJ
Oh my dear, I am sorry your family has made you feel that way. That you no longer fear safe and protected. I too know what its like to fear going home (but not because my parents.) so I am glad that you have good friends that love and respect you.
I hope in time you are able to fell save and secure in you home. If you ever need anyone to talk to, email me.
Good God Almighty, you are only a 11 year old child not a suffered old woman. The way you talk here you leave impression of being a dead old suffered 18 year old. Smile.
God bless,
judy
This is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read. I felt your sadness at the top and your happiness at the bottom. Will you never be free? not even when you grow up? I certainly hope that you count me one of your friends.
I used to write this sort of stuff at about your age, except my case was the opposite; I was safe at home, and when I went outside I became miserable and hateful because of everybody else mistreating me for being different, and nobody saw my poems. Maybe we're not necessarily on the same page, but certainly in the same chapter.
I can't think of anything to say, really, except for that. Keep those stars handy.
Wow! I like this a lot! You kind of switched the moods of everyone. At first you made things seem sad and painful, then anger, then happiness, then sad once more, then it went to a semi-happiness. I like how you did that. It kind of made me think the way you think. To see what your mind sees...Anyway, GREAT JOB!
A powerful and heartfelt poem done in your usual inimitable style. Grammar and spelling are near-flawless (I believe someone else covered those) and the structure works well. The subject is presented in a to-the-point manner that doesn't mince words, and the word choice only lends strength to an already impressive work. A superb poem which reinforces my belief you have a true talent for writing.
You know, out of all of the strong poems which I have read on PnP, I have to say that this is the strongest one I've ever seen. You're only 11 and I already see a lot of talent building up in you! I can't wait to see how far you'll go with this. Thank you for sharing this poem with all of us at pnp!
Also, you have a couple of misspellings, though "recieved" is "received" *"i" before "e" except after "c"* and "venemous" I believe is "venomous". I could be wrong about that one though. Change that, and I'll give you a higher raiting :)
Wow...you're right! It is very heartfelt. It's sad but has a happy ending to it. It also shows that no matter how deep the darkness, our friend's light will always shine through. This is very creative and and also reads very smooth. Wonderful! I hope you write more like this! As you know I'm a dark R&W and I usually don't like not completely dark poems. But this one was great!
Welcome !
