Between
by
Leigh G.
(Age: 14)
copyright 01-03-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Heaven and Hell
The world of light
The world of darkness
And the world in between
We call it, Earth
The place we all live now
Some have the light
Some have the dark
Hell holds me tight
I can't see Heaven's light
Bound to pain, sadness, and fear
No happiness draws me near
Only pain and fear
Hell is all around me
Only my friends can guide me
Soon their lights will fade
Soon my soul will die
I'm trapped in the world in between
A world of half and half
And I'm in the half of Hell
No smiles show
No love arrives
Only darkness draws near
Only hellfire feels me tears
Nothing
No one
Dead
I'm trapped in the world of blood
Blood, fire, pain
I'm in the world between
The half of Hell
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Hold on there little Missy. We can't have you trapped anywhere, but here at P-N-P. so come back to me! I'm calling in my marks and sharpening my sword. the devil is going to have a fight on his hands if he don't let go of you! Come on Devil put up or crawl back under your rock! Love and kisses to you Leigh. Anthony
Wow, Leigh. Once again, you astound me by your writing skills. That was a seriously dark and haunting poem, well written out, and near-perfect grammar! WOW! But remember, without light, there cannot be darkness, and without darkness, there cannot be light. You have some light within, you just have to find it. I sound extremely sentimental, don't I? :(
Great write, Leigh! A little problem with a couple of spelling and grammar errors, but nothing major. Once again, astounding job!
good start... i find although you used some words that are common place i still got a sence of your poem and found feeling in it that jumped out and surrounded me. i think if you did a rewrite and maybe edged a few of these common maybe repeated words out and replaced them with new fresher words your poems feeling would speak volumns.. sorry if i offened you..i really thought it was good but needs a little improvement..
over all the impression i got from it was like that movie constatine...i was really reminded of his charcter how he tries to do good but no matter what he will go to hell...don't know if that is where you were going but that is what i got from it..once again keep up the great work...
Welcome !
