Transcending
by
Richard Reed Jr
copyright 01-10-2006
Age Rating: 7 to 127
Picture Credits:
The winds blow bitterly, scraping the sky within and without. The eagle doesn't bear the winds as much as he is borne by them. Look, how effortlessly he flies.
The Siberian winds are painting the plains frost. The Asian tiger is chilled from his muscles clean through to his bones. Hunger chews without stop at his insides. He's been prowling for weeks. Look at his ever abounding tenacity, Nature's still-life painting of truth.
Every breath freezing to his face, The gray wolf is mindful only of survival. Many bygone clutching blizzards have assured his confidence. Take notice of his thoughtless faith as he stalks his unknowing prey.
When the moment of truth presents it's calling card, even the carefully hidden crane plunges trustingly, thoughtlessly, into the darkness. In his eyes no fear of failure can be seen.
And so, I plunge thoughtlessly and effortlessly, borne by my burdens, and emboldened by my fears, transcending that part of me which thinks, and stifles my instinctual nature. If you look closely now you can see that I'm leaving myself behind. See, I have vanished, and yet I remain.
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Though not the traditional style of poetry, that seems to give the scene more power. I love the visual images. They're so descriptive, I'm not sure you need a picture. Thanks for sharing!
Hmm... the story behind the picture. Things are starting to become more clearer. A piture without a story, is beautiful, all on it's own, I won't lie, but with the words, I can actully see the eagle fly through the sky. Great write, good job, thanks
You paint a very picturesque view of hardship in a tundra-like setting. I find the imagery to be compelling and eye-catching, but I do not like to be told what to do when I'm reading. I think you could do without the commands in this piece. Let the reader see what you paint for himself. "The Siberian winds are painting the plains frost," I think it should be, "plains' frost." "When the moment of truth presents it's calling card," I would simply say, "when the moment of truth presents itself..." "Calling card," detracts from the imagery. I also think that the word, "borne" doesn't do much for the imagery and fluidity of the poem. Lastly, I believe that you painted a true picture of the struggle of the animals that live in a harsh environment. But toward the end of the poem, when you step into its imagery and asks us to see you disappear and yet you remain there, the whole dynamics of the poem changes! Others may not notice or see this, but I do! I and think I should convey this to you. All in all, the poem is complex and full of wonderful imagery, but one must be careful not to interfere with nature!!! I say this with all sincerity, my friend!
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