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Until Forever Ends
by Jenna T. (Age: 15)
copyright 01-29-2006


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Misery, like a snake
coils itself around me tightly
Pain's hand wrenches my heart;
brings back bad memories just to spite me

Anywhere but here
is where I want to go; no more
do I want to be in the middle
of good and evil's war!

This path I chose to walk
has truly deceived me
It has lead me to no good
and I'm so far from where I should be

But it's too late to turn back
Here I stand at this road's dead end
in the middle of good and evil's war
until forever ends.


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02-03-2006 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

This is great and to think you have so long to refine your craft makes one think that you could be one of the greats. I should get your autograph soon before you start charging for it! good job, Anthony
02-02-2006 David Pekrul    

Are you sure you're only 12 years old? As Roger says, this very mature. You are definitely going somewhere with your poetry. Keep up the good work.
One small suggestion on the line, "brings back bad memories just to spite me" - I think it would be better to use the word "bringing" instead of "brings". This will keep the same tenses throughout the first stanza.
01-31-2006 Roger Crique    

This is absolutely beautiful. It is clean, clear and very well crafted. I love your metaphors. This poem possesses great imagery and it's free-flowing. I sense that this writer knows exactly where she wants to go with her poetry. I am truly impressed by your maturity. Keep up the good work!
Visitor Reads: 277
Total Reads: 287
Comments: 3

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