You, My Love
by
Brittney N. N.
(Age: 17)
copyright 01-29-2006
Age Rating: 13 to 127
My heart,
it aches.
My soul.
It quakes.
All for one love.
All for you, my love.
As I lay here
And wait,
To see you once again.
A tear I shed.
First one tear,
Then more.
For the wait pains me
More and more.
My body,
It shakes.
My spirit
It brakes.
As I wait
For my one true love.
As I wait
For you, my love.
My tears stain my face
As the pain stains my heart.
I only dream.
Dream of again
We’ll meet.
For you’ve gone from me.
Gone from my arms.
My mind,
It will not wake.
My tears
They form a lake.
The pain
It kills me.
As I dream,
My love.
As I dream of you,
My love.
Shall you return to me?
Shall you stay from me?
Shall you still love me?
For I shall still love you.
For I shall return to you.
For I shall never stay away from you.
My heart will not allow it.
The pain will not allow it.
My restless mind will not allow it.
You’re all I have.
You’re all I love.
You’re all I dream of.
You’re all I think of.
You’re all I live for.
My world
Is my one true love.
My world
Is you, my love.
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you recommend or rate the work highly...
Very very romantic, and that's my weakness. I also liked the structure. It seemed like the words just came tumbling down smoothly to and end not quite decided yet. I dunno'?
~Behold I give you the morning, I give you the day~
This is quite passionate, Brittney! The repetitiveness is always said to be something bad by many Language teachers in any work of literature, but as you have shown it gets a point across and works out quite well. I did not spot any major typos or grammatical errors in general, so good job on that! Keep on writing such passionate things as it seems to be a great way for someone to release their emotions and show what kind of a person they really are!
Keep on writing, Buddy A.
Love seems so strong at your young age, but the ones you love are going to go through so many changes in the next few years and they are not able to make their feelings stay the same. You too will move on and find new loves. I really liked your poem and hope you don't suffer many heartaches....unless you write more great poetry and I will be sad for you and happy that I get to read more. thanks for this, Anthony
I like your words, drip by drip, like a faucet that leaks, a drop at a time, this poem feels to me. You stayed away from the mushiness that a lot of these poems possess. I feel your aching heart pounding with pain and longing for a chance to have your loved one in your arms. Very nicely done.
Welcome !
