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On Line
Robert Betts
Lee Hirst
2 Writers

0 Free Members

2 Members
32 Guests

Darkened Heart
by Leigh G. (Age: 14)
copyright 02-06-2006
Contest Winner


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
After years of dejection
After years of lost loves
After years of pain...
Her heart darkens to love
Her heart is tossed aside and left to rot
Let in the darkness to die alone
No light is offered to her
No helping hands come
She's lost in darkness
Once used to hind in, now her eternal prison
Pain becomes hate
She quickly hates her old loves
She's pulled deeper and deeper into darkness itself
She isn't human any longer
She drowned in her own hate
She has no control
She has no heart
It was darkened with pain and dejection
A word we humans use to describe those like her would be...
Demon
She'd be called a heartless demon now
Lost in the darkness...
Dejection...
Pain...
She's lost with no direction
Swallowed into darkness
She kills those she once loved
Love became hate as she was lost in the darkness...
She drops the gun in her hands
Blood all over the floor
The blood of her last lover
As she realizes what she's done
She's taken away
She withers away in mortal prison
As more darkness infiltrates her heart once again...




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-25-2007 Shannon W.    

This a dark and deep poem. I like it! I have often felt my heart darken. I had so pain inside that I turned it into hatred. Which I hate. Haha. lol That was a funny way of saying it. Wasn't it?

Shannon


07-21-2006 Haley R.    

Hey Leigh, nice poem! It's really dark, but I couldn't help but find it true, in a way. I mean, when the same things happen to a person over and over again, they do shut the things out the bring them the most pain.

Anyway, great job! No spelling or grammar errors that I could find. And I like how you repeated some lines. I thnk it made it more dramatic. Personally, I like poems that has some lines repeated every now and then!

Great job! 5 stars!

The Commenting Crusader,
HaLeY


04-25-2006 Vicki G.    

It's kind of sad and dark, I couldn't help thinking "Leeeiiiggghhh!!!" while I was reading it. It's a good poem, it just needs a bit more of a clearer silver lining.


02-18-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

Wow- how emotional! I can almost feel myself being pulled into the darkness. Great descriptions, good structure. This was indeed a winner in any body's book. Keep up your wring, you are gifted.

~gives her a bouquet of roses~

Rich


02-07-2006 Alma H.    

This was really great. Do you always write so dark? Anyway, it sounds a bit like kingdom hearts but it is still great. Keep it up.


Visitor Reads: 604
Total Reads: 650
Comments: 5

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