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The Man Who Forgot How to Smile
by Veera Das
copyright 02-15-2006


Age Rating: 4 to 127

  The Man Who Forgot How to Smile
Picture Credits:

Walking early morning,
On my way to school
I saw a man frowning,
While sitting on a stool.

His eyes were knit over,
A face so darkly grim,
Spitting, he muttered,
So, I smiled at him.

Suddenly not angry,
He looked rather sad-
"I've forgotten how to smile",
He said,"Really it's too bad!"

I told him it was easy,
I Said I'd show him how,
Although he tried harder-
Could only knit his brow.

I took him to a doctor,
(Even he didn't know)
"Take pills thrice daily,
Perhaps your smile can grow!"

I took him to a preacher,
Who said,"Bless you dears,
So you can't smile?
I haven't done for years!"

"For life is made of tears,
So smiling, is a sin-
If you can't smile,
I say, don't begin!"

Then we saw the sunrise,
Walking to the sea-
Gazing at starry skies,
Now he smiles with me!




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02-16-2006 Brian Dickenson    

This could really be one for the children, the theme is good.
However, It does appear to be a tad lumpy, in the rhythm. I do think that it would flow far better with a little editing.

E.G. Third stanza.
No longer looking angry,
Rather, looking sad.

Fourth stanza.
Although he tried his hardest
He could only knit his brow.

It's just an idea, but I think that you need to broaden your descriptions.
Visitor Reads: 269
Total Reads: 286
Comments: 1

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