Pouring Bitter Tea
by
Richard Reed Jr
copyright 02-16-2006
Age Rating: 7 to 127
You have been gone from me
A thousand days
The rain
On my window pane
Falling tears
You have been taken from me.
You went by ship
Across the sea to China
Fighting with rifle and bayonet.
Do you know why?
I wait for you in my shinshitsu,
Wearing a red, flowered Kimono,
And Long Locks GeishaStix hair ornaments
To adorn my pulled-up, long, raven-black hair.
Through the raindrops
My gaze scans the horizon,
Hoping the sunset will show me your face.
Will you ever return?
The beautiful sea
Steals young men
Thief in the night
An uguisu has come to my window
Every morning since you've been gone
He warbles and chatters for hours.
By high sun he is gone.
I imagine he's singing me love songs
And bringing me news of you.
No matter, he sings in bird language
And I have no wings with which to fly.
If so, I would be in your arms.
Song-bird sings
My heart awake
Sunshine each day
I read your love letters
Each morning to the uguisu
While feeding him stale
Bread crumbs.
Between the uguisu and me,
Only a thin window pane.
Between you, my love, and me,
The thickness of imperial greed.
Irises separated
Narrow streams wide rivers
No difference
You have been gone from me
For more than a thousand days.
The uguisu has stopped coming,
As have your letters.
Pouring
Bitter tea
Loneliness
~This is probably more a poem than a story but, this is the only way I knew to maintain the format above~
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I feel like that woman sometimes, although my sadness isn't as romantic as that and I have no asian birds to miss, or letters to reminiss, but, I still feel like I was her, maybe that's better said, when reading this intimate distant memory of a life left abroad, thank you for making feel a little more poised than I did before, Great write, good job, thanks,
Richard,
you clearly excel at writing this type of poetry. I could feel the sadness and heartache flowing from your fingertips straight into my heart.
Marvelous write.
Nancy
How very lovely this is. It is timeless in its expression and use of Japanese/Asian themes...The use of birds and nature to convey human feelings is so very Japanese. You express very poignantly and with an awesome simplicity the daily pain of separation from a loved one, and the quiet acceptance of loss at the end was delivered with the silken thrust of a stiletto piercing deftly straight to the soul. I personally did not see this as dark at all but more as a gentle portrayal of deepest grief with an almost ethereal sense of soul. Your three-lined verses between the longer ones are brilliant and give the reader the opportunity to stop and contemplate the exquisiteness of both the beauty of nature and the sorrow of loss. Beautifully written in style, composition, expression and metaphor. This is definitely too poetic in form, meter and the rhythmic use of language to be considered mainly prose but I know the difficulty of maintaining a specific form within the limits of the posting mechanics here so you are probably right to post it here, except that it will be read by fewer people....and oh, the bitter tea theme is perfect!
Wow, that was sad. Mehrina was right when she said I'd like this! You know me and darkness... I saw the title and was unsure but I liked this. It shows how painful it is to be thinking of a loved one gone away. I like how you added the Japanese touch to it. I'm learning the language, and even thinking of visiting Japan someday. And it is more of a poem than a story in layout, but since it's telling a ad and painful tale I'd say it's fine. Like my grammar-freak friend said, very meaningful, and you did a great job!
*sniff* That was beautiful!!! It almost made me cry, and it would have if I had not eaten too much for dinner. What astounds me is that you put on a red, flowered kimono!!! Just joking...
What really astounds me is the flow in this story-poem. And I love the metaphors! My favorite lines were the last; they were so meaningful! Great job!!!!
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