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Uplifting
by Anthony Lane Stahlhut (Age: 47)
copyright 02-19-2006


Age Rating: 7 to 127

  Uplifting
Picture Credits:

Uplifting

Thoughts are raging inside my head
Falling onto my page instead
Rising to see a world a new
Searching to find my way to you

Lost without sleep, mind on fire
Exploding to reach heavenly desire
Mind a blaze and tortured soul
What we need to make us whole

Searching to find answers unknown
Living through things we don't condone
My life out here for all to see
Black and white, written history

I give you my body through the mind
And wonder what, you will find
Secrets hidden and deep inside
Naked here with nothing to hide

Words running in my veins
All is lost, nothing remains
Spent and tired, wondering why
A need to laugh, but choose to cry


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02-28-2006 Veera Das    

I love the flow of the first verse. Seems a bit Omar khayyamish in content. The second verse works nicely too. The last two lines of the third verse don't flow as well. May I suggest deleting a word or two to make it flow better?
"My life laid out for all to see
Black and white, a history."
Otherwise it works very well.

Veera
02-27-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

The poem lives up to its title. While I was reading it I became very uplifted. I read it many times. One little nitpick if I may. Perhaps stanza three could be made rhythmically smoother!?

Another good work,

Rich
Visitor Reads: 388
Total Reads: 397
Comments: 2

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