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On Line
Arthur G. Finch
Mehrina B.
2 Writers

Lisa Minshull
1 Free Members

3 Members
35 Guests

Snowy Sleep
by Leigh G. (Age: 14)
copyright 03-02-2006


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
Here it comes
Death of my core
As the warm seasons draw close, so does my fate
The fate of snow
The fate of heal
Snow is my element
White and cold
I sleep never to awaken when the blazing sun melts me away
Death draws closer
Such a short life I live
Such a futile existence I lead
I think back to the few memories I hold
And I enter one final snowy sleep
I intend on sleeping forever
As the raws of the sun cut through my cold heart
Emotions and pain come alive
As I realize I have no memories
No emotions
Completely devoid of anything human like
What's the point?
Why should I strive?
Humans die too
Except they have more than one way
As comes the heat I feel my self dying
I feel myself being freed of burden
As I enter one last snowy sleep
Even though...
Humans die
Humans feel pain
So why do I strive to become something no better than I am?
They only get more time to look at their painful pasts
Why strive to become even more imperfect?
I wonder all of this
As I sink into one last snowy sleep


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04-21-2006 Sam Hackel-Butt    

Ah. Imperfect vs perfect. I could go on forever about society's rule over us, trying to make us live one life deemed perfect, but because humans are not perfect, the way of life is wrong, therefore we've screwed ourselves over royally. OK... I shall move away from that now, and onto the poem!

Commenting on what David said about the snowman... I can very vaguely see it. I guess this is the darker side of a snowman, because you always think, "Oh, a snowman! How happy! And shiny! Kids spent time making that!" and then a voice in the back of your head adds, "...what a waste." You're that voice! You're so cool!
The thing with the snowman, is he cannot feel pain, because like you said, he's devoid of anything human like. I wonder then, why children and adults make his form vaguely human like? Arms, eyes, mouth, nose, a scarf to keep "warm," etc... Hmm... interesting...

Also, fix that "raw" "ray" typo!

Sam
Of ze commenting crusaders
03-03-2006 David Pekrul    

I imagine this is for the snowman contest. Very well done. If snowmen had emotions, I imagine this is what they would be like.
One small critique:
"As the raws (I think you meant 'rays') of the sun cut through my cold heart."



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