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On Line
Walter Jones
Shamara Ryan
2 Writers

0 Free Members

2 Members
22 Guests

Lost in Time
by Amanda C. (Age: 17)
copyright 03-03-2006


Age Rating: 1 to 127

 
Tears can’t wash away the pain.
Lament drips from this domain.
They are the world, I’m at their feet.
Can’t get off this one-way street.

I’m all alone, I’m going on.
My hopes and dreams are so forgone,
Waiting for the time-froze dawn.

Is this this true? Is this real?
Is this how I am supposed to feel?
I never knew black verses white,
Or how the darkness is so bright.

What is right? What is wrong?
What takes words and makes them song?
I guess I never did know, and never will.
Didn’t know that I’ve become this ill.

In the darkness once again,
Wrapped tight in my synthetic skin.
Am I still alone, now?
Is that your silhouette now?
Can you reach me somehow?

Without sublime,
Lost in time.

I am no stranger to sadness,
I’ve lived all my life in the dark.
I know my way ‘round this labyrinth,
Without ever reaching the start.

One way or another
I’ll find my way.
One blur to the other
It’s the same every day.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-26-2006 Jessica P.    

This is a great poem, except that the rythem in the stanzas changes a lot, and makes it kind of sloppy. But if you fixed it up a bit it would flow realli nicely; great job!
03-09-2006 Anne-marie Hewlett    

It's good, but could do with a little editing. Maybe you should change the word song into sing. *shrugs* But it's your song.
03-05-2006 David Pekrul    

With a little work this could become a great poem. The rhythm in the first stanza is great, but then changes in the second and gets totally lost after that. Try a little editing and see if you can make the rhythm uniform througout the piece.
Visitor Reads: 402
Total Reads: 414
Comments: 3

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