Is it ok?
by
Angela Toshner
(Age: 19)
copyright 03-05-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Though I know,
And watched you play,
My heart now too,
Shall betray.
And though you're gone,
I shall regret,
Letting my heart
to others rent.
Forever I shall see your face,
But is it ok
to give my heart a new place?
this was very hard to write because I dont want to give my heart away, but I have to.
angela
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This is a beautiful poem, sad but beautiful and full of meaning! You are a great writer! I understand what you mean, your feelings are put into this and thats what makes it so moving. Keep writing, your great at it!
This is a very good piece! Do you mean "Lending my heart away, to others to rent"? Either way, keep in mind, if you have the right friends, you can tell those friends how you feel about these things, since if they truly are good people and have your best interests at heart, than they won't betray you.
This is a very good piece, even if it is a short one. You should capitalize the start of each line, no matter what the circumstances, but other than that this is a good piece. Thanks for entering my contest, and sorry I didn't comment sooner. I can relate to this poem, my life has been taking faintly similar turns. Either way, it's been hectic. Must be going... Good work, keep writing!
Your friend, (even if she doesn't get on very much anymore...)
Leigh still hovering around the Commenting Crusaders
this poem resonates with me.
recently I called it quits with an extremely fantastic guy.
he still loves me, and I don't exactly hate him, but circumstances made it impossible for us to sustain a romantic relationship.
then I became involved with another great guy. I don't need to describe the feelings of guilt and betrayal I had for so long at first... you already did so well in your poem.
anyway you're not here for my life story... sorry. ^_^
it would be nice if you made your capitalization uniform, though. lines 8 and 11 deviate.
Welcome !
