Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
wow I absolutely LOVE this poem! I'd say my favorite stanza's are the first two. I can feel your pain in this. It's absolutely perfect. Awesome job.
Just a fellow writer,
~Cassie JSG
I have cried many a sea for you
When you said you still loved me so
But none of that seemed to matter...
For I died when you left forever
Outstanding closing.
So full of open emotion. Very courageous of the narrator to open the heart like that for all to see.
A couple of typos to correct, and a metaphor and simile or two would give this more punch, but I award you five for the good rhythm and heartfelt emotion.
This is a very melodic piece, or that's at least how I felt it read. It's on the short side, and you're missing a few commas, but I quite enjoyed this piece. Goodbyes hurt (I've never successfully achieved one -.-) but there's always a day, even if it takes years, we realize that they are only memories now, and that we have people depending on us for something, and cannot be dragged down by the demons in our minds. The topic is a familiar one, but not just because so many people write poetry about it, because we all seem to experience it in our lives. Good work, even though it didn't really have a large impact on the reader, I enjoyed it. Keep writing!
I like this poem. I like how you made the second line of the first three stanzas as questions. This is a sad poem, and I guess true. I've never necessarily been in love, but I know that if a good friend leaves me I feel sort of the same way..
Anyway, one thing that you might want to do is make this a little longer. Maybe you could write a little more about what it was like the moment the person left you? Or maybe you could write about what the love was like before this person said goodbye? Either way, this is a nice start to a great poem.
Good Job!
Good consistency of thought your not (straying off into the never-land) I might suggest and please don't hate me, I don't like doing it myself, try cutting down a few stanza's, take out the word's you don't need and check your end rhyme BUT DON'T SACRIFICE YOU CONSISTENCY its a good start to a great read.
This is a good start, but it could use a lot more imagery to bring out the true emotions of the narrator.
A little editing and embellishing and you will have a great poem.
Welcome !
