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Ooooooh m-m-m-y-y-y, I really am feeling quite dizzy now. It’s not easy, you know, having your head rolled around on the ground before it is unceremoniously plopped onto your shoulders…Well at least it’s of good size…that must mean that I am pretty smart. Nope, no small, funny-shaped head for these shoulders or at least it wouldn’t be funny-shaped if someone would just shave a little off of the left side. OK, that is much better….thank you small boy in the red hat, you have a good eye for proportion. I can’t say as I care very much for these big black eyes…they feel like lumps of coal and they must make me look like I’m a wide-eyed wonder with problem mascara.
Oh for heaven’ sake, I am not Pinocchio, you know…couldn’t you have found a carrot that was shorter and less pointy…I could hang laundry on this! I do hope that I don’t catch a head cold, one sneeze with this oversized snout and I could blow my head into snowballs…Oh well I guess I should be happy they didn’t use that stubby little stick they found…I’d never be able to breathe through that! Oh, the darlings they are making me a mouth from little shiny stones...how pretty, but mind you, I’ll have nothing to do with a pipe. Nasty things, pipes. My grandfather, Frosty, used a pipe and Mother always said that it hastened his demise.
I do like this scarf, though. It has a very chic appearance and the colors go very nicely with white….very classy looking. Oh no…no…no…no. I cannot believe that they would think I would even consider wearing that hat! Those silly black top hats went out over a generation ago….I can’t imagine where they even found one. Take it off right this second; I just will not have it! Thank goodness, what a relief. Whew, I owe the North Wind a big one…I hope he blows that beastly hat into the next county.
AAAAhhhh, much better…it’s a little old fashioned, but I like the veil and the bright blue color…..How utterly sweet, it has a feather too, a perky little feather…that should help take the attention away from my nose…everyone will be so busy admiring my hat they won’t notice my great big orange honker….What on Earth is that thing?….Tell me, it can’t be a broom, no way. They are actually going to make me stand here holding a broom, a great big yellow broom at that. Have they not heard of women’s lib for goodness sakes? Maybe if I’m lucky someone will steal it during the night. Where are all the petty thieves when you need one?
Yes, yes go in all of you….you can finish me tomorrow….what, you mean I am finished? This is it? I’m to stand here in my natural glory with just a scarf, a broom and a bright blue hat! I can’t believe you people…..Hey wait…wait, I say. Come back! You left the dog out. Get away, you, Get away this instant…..OOOOhhhhhh Nooooo! Noooo! No! no! Geeeeeze, all down my left side. Just how do I hide that kind of stain you wretched little mutt? Did anyone see that? What will the neighbors think?
Oh never mind, I just won’t look down at it, I’ll pretend it isn’t there. At least I still look better than that snowperson next door. Kind of puny it is and it’s only got an oatmeal box for a hat. No style at all. And the one over there, I wouldn’t even call it a snowperson, snow lump more like. Ok, I feel better and tomorrow will come eventually and maybe, just maybe, someone will bring a lovely shawl. Or a coat. Fur, preferably, but I’m not one to quibble if its not, really, but it wouldn’t hurt them to make the effort I don’t think.
Oh now what…what’s that on my face? Can you believe this? It…is…raining! Raining! Oh, my beautiful hat and scarf! This is just too much...they can’t expect me to take this kind of abuse. I am forced into believing that this is just not a place I wish to remain. There are other neighborhoods and better yards with higher standards and there are other snowstorms with better snow, I’ll just bet…I am simply going to melt away quietly and wait for a time and place where I’ll be more appreciated…so there.
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