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A Few of My Friends
by
Jordan Screws
(Age: 21)
copyright 04-11-2006
Age Rating: 7 to 127
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Leigh G. thinks I'm insane,
Mike MacD. rides the crazy train,
Haley R. likes to run about town,
And Mehrina B often shows a frown!
Leigh G. is certainly one of a kind,
She thinks I've gone out of my mind,
I don't know why she thinks that...
Could it be the work of a tight hat?
Mike MacD. is an eccentric fellow...
He is unusual but also quite mellow;
He would lead a parade through acid rain,
And he likes to ride the crazy train!
Haley R. is another endearing one...
Her unusual conversations are a lot of fun.
She likes to do track and dash all about,
She is seldom one to just sit and pout!
Mehrina B. seems to be a sad young lass.
Who on Earth would dare be so crass
To put in a cage such a brilliant soul?
Only someone with a dark heart of coal!
These are but a few of my marvelous friends:
They all have their unique odds and ends,
But if there's one thing that unites us all,
It's friendship: may that bridge never fall!
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-30-2007 Barbara Walker
Hi
I like the structure of your poem and found it saturated with humor and lightheartedness as well as appreciation and acceptance of the importance of and value of each of your friends. There's the big picture.You see them as a bridge. Then there's the small picture. You see them as each unique and as fine as they are different.
"to put in a cage such a .." I found a bit cumbersome. The previous stanzas are so easy and melodic, this one isn't of the same calibre.
I also noticed the word "may" from the sentence."May that bridge never fall" as needing a capital letter. I'm not sure how that last line could be worded differently to flow better.
I liked the variety in your sentences and the occasional question. I don't like the use of exclamation marks.
Very spicy, funny, interesting.
Barbara
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03-24-2007 Christina Johnson
Okay I think that you need some serious help on this poem I mean the reason why I mean that you wrote a poem about your friends. I think that you went a little to far with it. I mean you was supposed to write a poem about other things I mean I still like this poem and all but how would you feel if I wrote other people wrote a poem about you it's not going to to be pretty and besides I mean your going to not any friends I mean face it girl. I didn't like this poem that much is because you wrote some serious stuff that took it to way out league so just watch I mean I grade harshly I mean friends are friends not something that we can write about.
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03-22-2007 Samantha P.
Ha ha This piece made me laugh. I think it is good that you appreciate your friends enough to actually write a poem about them. I did however think that it is a bit wrong. Considering you get new friends all the time and you shouldn't just include a few. So over all I would give this a 7 out of 10. Well hope to read more of your work. My goal is to read all your work and comment on all of it.
Sincerely, Samantha
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10-14-2006 Mike Macdonald
Do not. :D
Nah, seriously, I appreciate the sentiment. Frankly, I think if you weren't the usual chat moderator I wouldn't bother dropping by so often. If you want graphics for your stories don't forget you can ask for my help, too.
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09-17-2006 Tammy Frascona
Very well written Jordan! It's always nice to have a few good friends... Right!
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04-25-2006 Jessica P.
Great job! Everybody needs friends, and it's so funn when there's more than just one, because first off, there's more people to talk to, and if one or two of the half a fight, you can still have other people there to hang out with, unlike having just one friend, and yeah. Great job though I loved the rhyming!
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04-16-2006 Shannon W.
Friendships are great. What would one do with out friends? I would rather have one true best friend instead of 10 not so true friends. I really liked the rhyming!
-Shannon
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04-14-2006 James Shammas
Well written tribute to honest friends with no strings attached. That's why I still stick around.
Jim
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04-13-2006 Debra Rose
This is a very beautiful, and sweet little work! Obviously, they all enjoyed this very much! I thought it was very cute, and such a wonderful dedication to your friends here. Great work, Jordan
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Total Reads: 476
Comments: 9
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