The Other Me
by
Leigh G.
(Age: 14)
copyright 04-06-2006
Age Rating: 7 to 127
There's another side of me
That I don't let anybody see
She's angry
And hates everyone I love to see
She's me I hate to say
I hate to see people worry about me
She loves to see their fear
I hate it when I hurt somebody
She loves to see their pain
She's the devil inside of me
The side I don't let anybody see
She's part of me
She hates everything I like about me
She loves everything I hate about me
I hate every thing she loves about herself
I love everything she hates about herself
She's part of me
She's the side that I don't let anybody see
She's the other me
I'm nothing that resembles an angel
Not a Christian at that
Yet I still know that she's the devil inside of me
We're each other's enemies
Yet she still inside of me
She's the devil inside of me
She's the side I can't let anybody see...
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Hola!
Alright, now to comment. Comment... comment.... hmm... what shall I say but you're right? Everyone has that other side to them. It's not always a 'bad' or 'dark' side to them, just someone they're not use to being. Sometimes, we need to take qualities we hate and make them our own so we can survive certain harsh realities. And I guess we refer to those sides as dark and 'devilish' because we all are two-faced, and we all decide how we're going to act towards certain people. We all have a bad case of schizophrenia.
The structure of the poem is very nice. Ya know, I'd love to see some happier poems, or some poems about... scenes, not just about you :P You're so selfish, ya know that, right, Leigh? :P I'm just joking ya :P Is HAPPY in your vocabulary?
Very nice, nonetheless. The italics were a nice touch.
I'm sure many people have two personalities or more at that!! As for me, I can really relate to your poem because I myself act differently around different people. (who doesn't?) But it's like I can't show my true self at school because I think people will judge me and I hate the feeling that people judge me, but that's human nature I suppose. Even I judge people even though I shouldn't. I can be really crazy with people I know very well though, such as my best friends or my sisters. I just wish I could always be myself because it's just so hard to play two different people.
I really like this poem, because, though not many people admit it theres one in every person, it juzt shows more or less on some people. I found one mistake the line "Yet she still inside of me" should be "Yet she's still inside of me". Other than that it was really good great job!
But you do let some people see! Each coin has a head and a tail. There would be no hot without cold and so on. They aren't too different people.
They're two different sides of you, the Strong side and the weak side. Without either, you would not be a whole person. You have talent and wisdom in (I assume) that pretty head of yours. And your a bundle of energy. keep writing wonderful poems like this and you will go far and make me envious.
Good in every way, technically it's a very smooth read with an excellent message and great chosen words a the right time to drive your message home with force.
This expresses something almost everyone experiences at some point in their lifetime: the occasional emergence of another "self". The flow is pretty good... it seems almost like the other you is about to emerge. No mistakes in grammar or spelling that I can see. While I'm not a fan of dark poetry, you did quite well with this. No inflated rating necessary- you earned it with a short but great poem about the darker side of individuals!
Welcome !
