The House Turned the Earth
by
Richard Reed Jr
copyright 04-17-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
And stared at the sun through her windows
Dawning the day by lifting her curtains
Exposing herself to the peach blue sky
She flirted with the oak tree's shadow till noon
The earth
Excited by this tree/house foreplay
Hungrily thirsted
And drew down cool rain
From disapproving clouds
Who turned everyone's fun to gloomy glum
Satiated and bloated
Mother Earth now unhumored
Hurled lightning bolts into the sky
The clouds hitched a ride
On a favorable wind
The storm became quiet
As a shut-down factory
The lengthening shadows
Were tugging on the twilight's late afternoon
Pulling out a purple-hazed tarpaulin
To cover the red-cheeked, sheepish day
A spaced-out, exasperated Mother Earth
Turned over in her wobbly hotbed
Pushing her nakedness into view
Towing the sleepy-eyed moon
Who would spend the lonely hours
Decorating the unfurnished night
The grasses tickled the crickets to sing
The pond induced the frogs to croak
While the universe and I re-created
Each other anew
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This is a beautifully written poem i enjoyed this alot they way you played with words and placed them so carefully well it seems like that aleast and it worked lol its perfect i like the way you slowly but steadily go through the whole day and described it but in so little words well done keep up the good writes....
Quick comment to Leigh_G sorry Rich, but I just want to say that everything changes, whatever your situation, good, bad, just wait and it will change, if you want a say so in how it changes then yes, you must make a decision and act on it, remember not deciding is a decision unto itself, free will, nothing can take the place of free will, okay I'm done, I hope you don't mind, peace out hommie
Who are you? Who R U? Said the Caterpillar to the butterfly. I wanna help you make tomorrow, can I, please, I wanna fly, wait for me please, Great write, good job, thanks
I love metaphor, apostrophe, and personalization and you do all three well and richly here. But I must admit, that this time, I too am stumped at least to the general thrust of the poem. There is a rich, symbolic reference to Earth, but I can't intuit how to respond or to whom the poem is directed. Tell me more about it when you get a chance.
Good work, on another poem. You've hidden away the main message nicely, which I always have enjoyed (well, maybe except for Loon and Lun...). Each day will continue to be the same, unless we try to change it. We won't change if we don't try to change it. Nothing will ever change, unless we try to change it. This reminds me of a few poems I've written. I hardly ever get feedback anymore, so I'm not much for submitting poem recently. And in this one poem, that I got feedback on, the commenter said that I nee to fix grammar, and I read it over a few times, and still found nothing wrong. I should just swallow my pride and ask for help though... Even though if I keep chattering about how PnP commenting and reading is down the shittier, I'll just kill off my good mood. Even though maybe I should try to control my language... My language is worse when I'm cheery than pissed off. ...Go figure... Well, you might want to change the might want to change how you use, "tree/house for play." It's up to you though. Good work, keep writing.
May the divine darkness be with you,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
P.S. When I ran the spell-checker through this it correct my spelling on a curse... Hmm, is that good or bad? :)
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