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Happiness
by
Jane L.
(Age: 14)
copyright 04-23-2006
 Contest Winner
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Picture Credits: http://naver.com
In the snow,
You were looking at another place,
And crying.
I hated to see you doing that.
So I followed you.
I miss you.
Even if I'm hurt,
Even if I'm gone,
As my love,
I wish you happiness.
When it's hard,
And you turn turn back,
I'll always be there.
Because of the tears you left behind.
The reason I couldn't leave you behind,
At the place I left was that,
I love you so much that I can't go on.
I miss you.
Even if I'm hurt,
Even if I'm gone,
As my love,
I wish you happiness.
I hope you'll be more happy,
I wish you happiness.
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-07-2007 Leigh G.
This is a nice poem and a sweet sentiment. :) I'm sure, unless the couple is having a little crisis at whether or not they really care about each other, that a person who honestly loves another person, will always wish them happiness even if they can't be together. This is a great poem, describing a familiar feeling. This is a beautiful piece, conveys the message easily with clarity, and also had a solid structure. And I can't rant about capitals. :D I didn't find one error in this piece, good work! You also had a fitting picture! I can never find a picture that fits...I make logos for my books and some of my stories, but never my poems. Eh, sorry! Got a little rambling there... Anyway, I can agree that this is a worthy contest winner! Great work Jane, keep writing!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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09-07-2006 David Pekrul
Congratulations on winning this contest, Jane.
You deserve it. Your song is simple and beautiful.
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06-30-2006 Richard Reed Jr
Jane,
Your words are so extremely beautiful as are the feelings behind them. Your command with words, and your feeling for, and insights into life
present you with all the gifts a good writer needs. Keep up the good writing.
Thank You,
Rich
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04-29-2006 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball
Hmmm... I think I got lost somewhere along the way. I always try to envision a story, or an image, or something... and it was a little fuzzy in my mind. But the feeling was not, it was definitely there. Thanks for sharing it with us, and it must have really meant something to you to post it and in such a moving way. Thank you.
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04-28-2006 Euna P.
HOW AWESOME!!! IT"S FINALLY A NEW POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem... This is really good, especially seeing that you made this into a song. I haven't read very many songs though.... but I say this is just amazing.
Well good luck on Midterms! If you have English, and you don't get an A on that.... well, I'll just let my eye twitch.
^.^ I'm sure you'll do awesome. Great read!
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04-23-2006 Tigran Israelyan
Good.
Climbing following mountain,
We fields also contain;
Take care for us: Native Land mother:
Bless and give us your presents: Only God father.
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04-23-2006 Jane L.
I can't believe that even though midterms are like only 6 days away I submitted a poem. Oh well. ^^;;;;
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