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My Life of Salvation

by Richard Reed Jr
copyright 04-24-2006

Age Rating: 10 +

my life of broken
on broken play toys

given to broken-home kids
whose broken
dreams unlike a broken-
winged bird
probably never m-

my life of broken


on my hands

riding free-fall roller coasters
into amusement parks

my life of
broken pencil-points
smashing too hard
on my paper-thin mind
R.....and R and.....R
crashing down hard
on the green-suited
flying young man
ding ding ding
Where has she gone?
ding dong
pointy nose
is also mel-
my rainbow fading into

my life of
my chicken and rooster's
crowing and
the congregation heads'
singing and
the useless tick-tocking
of the ivory towers'
all clucking and blinking
coming home to roost
and pecking out my eyes
rendering me blind
to the egg
the seed of my happiness
rendering me blind to
my life of


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        06-09-2006     Elisabeth Hatheway        

Hey, Jr!! Sure you can call me Liz, that's my nickname of course! People think since I spell my name with a "s" my nickname is supposed to be spelled like this: Lis. And I'm thinking, what in the world?;It's funny how people think.

Anyway I thought this poem was really pretty and it reminded me of all the good times I had when I was a kid; when my father was still living, taking me to the old ghost town, Virginia City and when we used to get vanilla ice cream cones at McDonald's and eat em' at the park while we fed the ducks. Those were good times but time comes with change and things can never stay the same. As my mom always says,"The only thing guaranteed in life is change." It seems that when time goes on, it always takes a little part of me with it...

        05-05-2006     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Salvation is a funny thing, once you're sure you have something, half of the time it's stolen right back. Even if you earned it, there's no telling if you're going to keep it or not. This was a good poem. The flow was good, and the semi-dark topic got my interest. And I'm finally catching up on my reading! After I finish reading all of your new poems, I plan submitting the ones that I've written recently. Back to the poem... You've got a few grammar errors, and you should start each line with a capital letter. I enjoyed reading this piece! Good work, keep writing!

Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders

        04-26-2006     Regina Pate        

So what did you salvage,my friend, what kind of life is that, is it even worth living? When I was I child, I acted like a child, but now it's time to put childish things away, and become a man. So be it. All our childhood dreams have disappeared to our reality, We are adults, remember what we used to say we would do when we grew up? I haven't grown up yet, I still like to play with broken toys and I like to play pretend, I like to stay quited in my self made fantasy within the recesses of my head, I am a woman, he he, I am a woman, but I have to go and defend my kingdom in my underground world, where I live my underground existence, I don't know when I will decide who, Regina Pate, the person, really is, instead of, wife, ex-wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, student, Computer Office Specialist, or all the other titles I give her. I know it's only a penny for my thoughts but I'm really sorry I gave my two cents worth and then some. But you did it to me again, my friend, and even though it may not make sense to some right now, I think by your poem you know where I was heading with this but I digress, Sorry so long, Great write, good job, thanks for the memories and the feelings they invoked,


        04-25-2006     Tiffany Forster        

Wow...I must say I am very impressed with this piece. I love how you have it set up, I love the imagry you use, the vocabulary, everything. This had me quite mesmorized from begginng to end. It's brilliant! Now I have to go back and get caught up with the rest of your works, I cannot wait if they are all as orignial and interesting as this one. Excellent job!
-scatters sakura blossoms everywhere-
-leaves him an onyx katana-


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