We Sleep Here Forever (A Tritina)
by
David Pekrul
copyright 04-28-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Their battles fought, their lives they lived, and now our fathers sleep,
And though their spirits take to flight, their memories linger here,
With souls now free to live in peace, their battles rage forever.
In stories told, in books we read, their past will live forever,
So we can know what went before, 'ere with them we do sleep,
And in this way, share legacy with those who still are here.
We help our children learn the past, of things before and here,
And pray that they will not forget, and memories keep forever,
Then pass them down to those who come, before they too will sleep.
And when all things are said and done, we too sleep here forever.
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Nice Tritina, David. You've kept the pattern of word repetition very well with concrete nouns and active verbs as it was intented. I could never master any of these poetic forms...I kept to basic rhyme and free verse (much easier). Your poem is a good example of what a tritina should look like...grouped into 3 tercets with a concluding line...adding up to total of ten lines. Perfect! The theme is very poignant...sounds similar to Arlington Cemetery in the USA where our military heroes are buried. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote.."Show me a hero and I show you a tragedy." So true...Audie Murphy is an example...he was the most decorated soldier in WWII only to be killed in a plane crash in 1971. We should always honor those heroes. Regards, Gregory
Well no fair, I have no idea what you are talking about, yes, I looked it up, but what good did that do! none, but, I don't like this style anyway, so it doesn't matter, I like the way you used to write, but you words are still the same, Great write, good job, thanks
You have a good subject to write about. The poem is also a nice read, yet I do no agree that we will all sleep, for it is written, ''We shall not all sleep but be changed in a moment in the twinkling of an eye, twinkling meaning to avert one's eye or vision, to realize that death is a deception. A law that we are free from.
God bless,
Mrs. Tigran Israelyan
Found the tritina form. I really had to dig for this. Then found it by mistake while looking up something else. Yoour poem. The theme is great. The rhyme scheme is perfect. The meter is different than the usual pentameter or tetrameter. With the seven foot line it reads almost like the ballad form of tetrameter, trimeter. Which is cheating a little?? Although the tritina seems as if it is a difficult form to get perfect. All in all, this was an excellent try.
Welcome !
