The Willow
by
BJ Niktabe
(Age: 50)
copyright 05-08-2006
Age Rating: 7 to 127
Picture Credits: http://www.jmgkids.us/
I stand alone near water's edge.
I hang my head and weep,
the gentle breeze my only friend
as all around me sleep.
The night's caress is all I feel.
It's gentle warm embrace
surrounds me like the silence
as darkness hides my face.
Once more the sun will rise above
reflecting on the lake.
My head remains hung low this morn,
though all around me wake.
I listen to the sounds of joy
as children run and play.
I wish that I could be like them,
for once enjoy the day.
But then the nightfall comes once more.
I hang my head to weep,
the blanket of the wind my friend
as all around me sleep.
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I can agree with the others, in the sense this is a very peaceful poem. But, it is also a sad poem. Especially the part with wishing to be as care-free as a child, to me, that completed the feeling of somebody slowly getting over a painful time in life, who has resigned to the outcome of the situation but still isn't fully to let it go. A person who wants to be happy, but also doesn't want to betray the person they are grieving for.
The rhyming didn't completely stand out to me at first, but as I glance over the poem again I see more of it. :) I have trouble rhyming without it sounding forced, you know? You might want to add a few commas to link the uncapitalized lines, for I think it might make it look a little more professional. Then again, I am a picky one. :) Ah, my grandmother is about to call I'm on line, so I must get going! Good work, keep writing!
beautiful poem yet again. the ryhimg together with the willow just rocks u into peacefulness. i was going to ask why did you write it..wether it was a certain connection you had with the tree..but i just read your comment. the willow really sets the scene..the readers are there with you. brilliant
This piece was most beautiful and a masterpiece of literature in every way. I could feel the tree, I could feel with the tree.
I could feel that I was the tree.
This poem presents a soft emotion and wonderful connection with nature. The thyme is very good and the imagery placed me next to that willow tree. Very well done, I enjoyed this poem very much.
I grew up with a large willow tree in my backyard. I loved it. But it became diseased and had to be cut down. That made it even more sorrowful. It is by far my favorite tree, and my niece (Mary-BrytEyz-Ball) sent me a link to a sight that told you what kind of tree you were. Lo and behold! I was a willow! That was the inspiration for this poem.
A very soft, serene picture was painted in my mind from this. I like how you eliminate the sense of sight from the poem. The repetition of certain lines adds to the over all flow of the poem. Your rhyming is flawless. Great job!
Wow, I almost felt like I was really listening to a Weeping Willow speak, If I didn't know any better i'd say she was, I feel very relaxed and almost fell into a dream like state of mind, great write, good job, thanks
A very poetic way of describing the Willow. Although always bowing, it is a very sturdy tree. It grows easily and never seems to be affected by water and wind. I think it should be described as "The Mighty Willow", although I think the Oak already got that credit.
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