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On Line
Jade L.
Robert Betts
2 Writers

Mike Macdonald
1 Free Members

3 Members
23 Guests

Patience
by Regina Pate (Age: 29)
copyright 05-09-2006


Age Rating: 1 to 127

 
She started walking through the woods one day
Here I am again I wonder why
Thought I was happy
But I wanna cry

I hope I'm not stuck here forever
I know it has to definitely get better
But I can't see no relief soon
And I can't wait until a full moon

Patience is a virtue
Or so they say
I am learning this
I'll reap it's reward
one day

It's hard to be mindful of my daily lessons
When all they do is keep me guessin
Why can't I just live and be happy
Why do I always have someone mad at me

I can't do this
I can't do that
I can't go here
I have no time to chat

But what good is it to do the right thing
When all I think about is what it would be like
To do that other thing
And I rush through my lessons of the day
Because I have no patience to wait for
"Come what may"

I never really learn my lesson when I try to find it
I usually learn it when without even knowing it
And later on all by myself
I'll remember something someone said

So here I sit
with my cigarette lit
I put pen to paper
And I'll think about it later



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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-10-2006 James Shammas    

I agree with David that there are perhaps some punctuation changes that could be made to make the poem flow a little better. I also noticed that you switched pronouns from "she" to "I." This is fine if it is willfully intended for the efficacy of the poem, (I'm not sure). Strong message though.

Jim
05-09-2006 David Pekrul    

My only thought when reading this is "Don't worry about what others think, just be true to yourself".
One comment on grammar, the line "But I can't see no relief soon" contains a double negative. It should read "But I can see no relief soon" or But I can't see relief soon."
Visitor Reads: 268
Total Reads: 282
Comments: 2

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