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On Line
Eric Gasparich
1 Writers

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1 Members
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Mussy Rooms
by Richard Reed Jr
copyright 05-17-2006


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Feeling anxious and weak
Like the bullfighter's moment of truth
The cup tips and falls
With courage spilling onto the table
Crossing over the edge to cowardice
Look how it falls
From the thin-skinned dream-cracked heart it flows
Spreading fear to the depths of the soul
A moist heavy coldness sinking in
Where no mussy rooms exist

How strangely she felt standing in his room
She had not been there for a goodly year of days
Her eyes fell to the chair
A musty jacket always hung there
For which she cursed him repeatedly, obsessively
Hands hanging motionless, she thought
His jacket may hang wherever it wills
He won't be needing it
Where no mussy rooms exist


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05-19-2006 Roger Crique    

Richard, I find this one to be a very interesting read. I get the feeling that there is a very special person being mourned here. I also get the idea that this special person spoke in a very special way. The musty jacket is also a reference to the person's hygienic state. I know you went through great lengths in order to project your vision of the events in this piece. No matter how this person was in real life, now that he is gone, he is surely missed! I commend you for your artistic and descriptive abilities. I really enjoyed this one. It stands on its own!!!
05-18-2006 Tori Lang    

I am completely intrigued by your words in this piece Richard. Though like regina a little confused. Yet the confusion doesnt take away from the mystery of your words. Who is that woman?.
05-17-2006 James Shammas    

Reed,

I agree with Regina, here. I've read it a few times, and I'm having some difficulty relating to the main thrust. I do like the word usage and diction, though. It almost can be a short story perhaps.

Jim
05-17-2006 Regina Pate    

What are you talking about, muss, to mess up, confuse, disorder, I am totally all of that, why are you feeling this way, why are you writing like this, this is something for someone else to comment on, because I can't
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