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****I have made many new corrections. This is the version I handed into school. I hope you like it!****
May 1, 2006
Dear Diary,
I don’t know why I love him. All he does is make fun of me and make me cry. His friends are constantly making fun of me too. Ben once said he loved me, but that was when we were younger and he wasn’t a jerk. I wish that I said “I love you” back. If I did, maybe things would be different. My life is miserable as it is; my mom died a few months ago, and my dad is drinking his constant pain away. When he is drunk he is unpredictable. He came close to hitting me yesterday. I wish mom were here. The only thing that is keeping me going is the thought of Ben being his old self. Every day I hope Ben will change, but you never know. Well, it’s 10:00 pm, and I have to go to school in the morning. Good night.
[It’s 7:00am and Cindy leaves for the bus. Cindy gets on the bus and one of Ben’s friends trips her, and she falls flat on her face having her books fly everywhere. The whole bus laughs, including Ben.]
Rob: Watch where you’re going, loser!
[Cindy quickly picked up her books and ran to the safety of her seat. Cindy hated Ben’s friends. They were such jerks.]
Bus driver: Have a nice day, guys. [The bus driver signals for Cindy to come over by her.] What’s wrong? Are those guys bothering you again?
Cindy: No… no, I just tripped. I have to go or I’ll be late! Bye! [Cindy runs off the bus]
Cindy: [Thinking to herself] I hate school so much! I wish it was over, so I wouldn’t have to deal with Ben and his stupid friends.
[Cindy walks into her homeroom]
Rob: Hey, loser, you’re late!
Mrs. Finkel: Rob! Be quiet. There is no need for your unwanted comments.
[It was a long day for Cindy as usual. She had to deal with Rob, Ben’s best friend. He was the worst. Every little thing that she did he would make fun of her. Ben joined in most of the times. Cindy finally got home, and now she has to deal with her drunken father. ]
Mr. Weis: [screaming] Where were you! I needed you to clean the house!
Cindy: I was at school! Duh. Even you should know that. Well then again you’re too drunk to probably notice! [Cindy storms off, but before she reaches the stairs her father yanks her back and throughs her on the floor and screams]
Mr. Weis: Don’t you ever talk to me like that again. Do you understand? I am your father, and I deserve to be treated with some respect. Is that in any way unclear?
[Cindy shakes her head.]
Cindy: No.
[Mr. Weis walks away and Cindy runs up to her room and cries and goes on AIM. She sees that Ben is on. She confides in him, telling him how she really feels. She gets no respond from him, which worries her.]
Cindy: [Thinking to herself] Maybe it was a mistake. I should have never told him how I feel.
May 2, 2006
Dear diary,
I’m so nervous. I finally told Ben how I feel. I was too scared to do it in person, so I told him online, which was equally bad because I didn’t get a response from him. I really don’t want to go to school tomorrow; it’s going to be so awkward. Oh, no! What if he tells all his friends? Then they would really make fun of me. Why did I have to tell Ben how I feel? I hate my dad so much! I really wish he would just jump off a bridge and die or better yet why don’t I just jump off a bridge. No one would care or even notice. I am a nothing in this world. I still can’t believe I told Ben how I feel. Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever. Everyone is going to make fun of me, and then I’m going to wind up crying in the bathroom again. I’m so tired I got hardly any sleep last night.
[Cindy falls asleep and dreams about Ben. She always dreams about Ben. In her dreams she is the most popular girl in school and everyone loves her, but most importantly, Ben loves her. Then at 6:00 am she is woken by the dreadful buzzes of her alarm clock. An hour later she’s slowly walks to the bus stop, preparing herself for probably the worst day of her life. The bus comes and she gets on. The bus driver starts to talk to her]
Bus driver: No need to worry today, Ben’s jerky friends aren’t on the bus today. Only Ben. He’s not too bad without his friends.
Cindy: Uhh… okay? [Cindy turns around and rolls her eyes. She walks to her seat. Just as Cindy sits down, a popular girl comes over and sits next to Cindy and whispers]
Martha: Hey, I’m Martha. [Puts out her hand for Cindy to shake it. Cindy shakes Martha’s tiny hand. Martha was a very petite “girly girl”.]
Cindy: Hi… I’m Cindy. [Her voice is shaky. She has never really spoken to a popular girl before.]
Martha: I can sense your nervousness. There is no need to be nervous. I’m a nice person and I’m not going to make fun of you. I have noticed you eyeing Ben Hook. He’s quite the stud muffin.
[Cindy looked at the girl who was reading her like a book]
Cindy: Is it obvious? [She is concerned.]
Martha: Not really, it’s just that I know these things, I’m good like that. Okay, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. I heard that you told Ben that you liked him and he told his friends. [Cindy gasps. That is the last thing she wanted, but she also knew that he would probably tell his friends anyway. It was time to get off the bus. Cindy was so nervous. She wondered who else knew. The whole school probably knew by now. Ben was the most popular guy in school and word traveled fast when it came to him.]
Cindy: [thinking to herself, by her locker] I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I tel… [Cindy was cut off by a familiar sounding voice, a voice that belonged to Rob.]
Rob: [Standing with a few of his friends] Hey! Sorry we missed you on the bus. We didn’t want Ben to know were here yet. We wanted to talk to you first.
Cindy: Uh… abo.. about what? [Cindy is so nervous she can barely speek]
Rob: Ben.
Cindy: [Thinking to herself] Oh, God.
Rob: Ben told us that you like him and it turns out that he likes you back. He was just scared that we wouldn’t accept you, but we thought that if you’re good enough for him, you’re good enough for us. So this is the plan. You’re going to go up to him and make a move other wise he will never ask you out. Okay?
[Cindy was just so overwhelmed that she could barely wait till last period. That was when she was going to kiss him. As Cindy walked to her first period class Rob and his friends still stood by her locker laughing uncontrollably.]
Rob: Hahaha! Oh my God, I can’t believe she fell for it. What a sucker.
[Finally last period came. She slowly approached Ben and his friends. Rob, who was behind Ben was quietly cheering her on. Cindy quickly said hi and kissed him for as long as she could which was only about 2 seconds before Ben pushed her away in disgust.]
Ben: Ew! What the hell was that? Who do you think you are coming up to me and kissing me? You’re a disgusting loser and I hate you. Don’t ever come near me again.
[Cindy ran out of the school, she was crying so hard. The laughter of the whole school made her run and cry more. She had to get away from the awful school. She ran home; thank God her dad wasn’t home.]
May 3, 2006
Dear diary,
My life as I know it is soon coming to an end. I can’t stand living this horrible life any more. It’s just too cruel and it always will be. Death is the only way out. God will understand and forgive me… I hope. This will be the last time I will ever write to you. Good bye. Instead of a suicide note I will write a suicide poem and here it goes:
You tell me that I’m stupid and dumb,
You think I do this all for fun,
But you soon you'll realize how I feel,
My broken heart no one can heal,
So I hold this knife to my wrist,
And now by death I have been kissed,
So when you find me in my bed,
Maybe you'll realize it wasn't all in my head,
I told you once, I told you twice,
But you still didn't listen, till I took my own life.
[Cindy goes downstairs and grabs the sharpest knife there is and slowly cuts her left wrist and then her right one. Cindy falls to the kitchen floor, lying in her own blood. Her pulse is starting to fade, and she is starting to see a white light, Ben pounds on the door he knows she’s home, but he is unaware of the fact that she is helplessly lying on the floor.]
Ben: Cindy! Please answer the door. I’m sorry for what they did. As far as I’m concerned they are no longer my friends! Please answer the door. I’m so sorry I was such a jerk all these years. [Ben looks through the window and sees her lifelessly on the floor.] Oh my God! CINDY! [Ben whips out his cell phone and calls 911. A few seconds later he breaks down the door and runs to Cindy. He gets towels and covers her wrists, in hopes to stop the bleeding]
Ben: Please hang on, you can’t leave me here. I can’t let you go with out you knowing that I love you too. [Ben holds her tight as the ambulance draws near.]
May 11, 2006
Dear diary,
As you can see, I didn’t die. Ben saved my life. I’m glad he did otherwise I would have never known the “real” truth, but now I know that Ben really does love me.
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