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On Line
Lee Hirst
1 Writers

Tina Frost
1 Free Members

2 Members
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First Poem after a long hiatus
by Leah Garrison (Age: 20)
copyright 06-02-2006


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
my soul is dilating, and it hurts
but it is the only way my vision can be born
lest something tear,
and I begin hemmorhaging insanity

Is anybody there?
Can anyone hear me?
Does anybody even care?

I am a passenger on spaceship earth
I'm not used to the sterility
I'm only a temporary traveler
I come from far far away from here
and I'm going to someplace farther

I cannot take the sunset and put it in a poem.
I can only smear my heart across the page
and accent it with audial glitter.

so many noises ... so many directions
so far away
I want someone to take me home
and love me.

come take me home, come take me home
wipe the blood from my heart
wipe the salt from my eyes
I tried too hard like a bull in a china shop -
you still have me sticking with cliches

Sometimes I wonder if people who have never seen me before think I'm pretty weird at first sight. I try not to look at them because it's not polite to stare. Still, I'm too fond of freedom to reverse the bars. I will never try to cage someone again. It always turns out wonky. I think it would be terrible to be locked in a white car for the rest of your life.

mother of a verbal generation
I see my children scattered on my desk
the unicorn in my closet bids me sweet goodnight
comforter of romance hugs me close
and I drift into a dreamland...

which looks a lot like the everyday world.


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06-10-2006 Roger Crique    

Well, I wonder what you were doing, while on your hiatus? But I must presume that you were busy traveling among the stars, looking for home. Perhaps you found it? This is a very interesting read! I don't think you were concerned with fluidity, though at times, there was plenty. I don't think you cared about form, either! But it doesn't matter here, because you had other plans for this piece and I must tell you that I saw right through it! You wrote this in a very unique way. There are some outstanding lines here, such as, "I cannot take the sunset and put it in a poem.
I can only smear my heart across the page..." This is a magnificent line! The physical action of smearing one's hear across the page is very descriptive and visually explosive. And, "come take me home, come take me home wipe the blood from my heart wipe the salt from my eyes
I tried too hard like a bull in a china shop -
you still have me sticking with cliches," This stanza is marvelous! A bull in a china shop! An immediate picture of a bull standing among delicate china-ware conjured up in my mind. Brute force, against the delicate and fine! That's when I realized what you were trying to accomplished and by far, you did! Congratulations, Leah, I am glad you're no longer in a hiatus!




Visitor Reads: 248
Total Reads: 251
Comments: 1

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