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Class Poem
by
Sam Hackel-Butt
(Age: 18)
copyright 06-05-2006
Age Rating: 7 to 127
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**I'm still fixing this up. I wrote this in the poetry part of my English class. My teacher has given me critisism, and I will change the poem accordingly once Exams have finished.**
Buildings collapse
Dust flies
Plaster disintegrate as Armageddon reveals its face
Distant car engines rev, preparing themselves
The view from the windows change from green, blue, and red brick to churning grey storm clouds of filth, smoke, and dust.
My peers are interrupted from recording their thoughts, pencils scratching against white paper with liquid words cease.
Water rolls down the inside of a bottle.
Precipitation as heat rises.
Even the refreshing minty cool gum I chew can’t aid in the cooling down of my heated thoughts.
I am terrified.
Tense.
Nervous.
The video camera that holds onto precious footage of laughter and smiles sits forgotten as other things grasp my attention and demands I listen.
It is difficult to set boundaries on love for your friends, and keep to them.
Carefree laughter is no more.
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-28-2007 Leigh G.
Arg! Dumbass attack...sorry I meant "Commenting Community." I think I left my brain in bed this morning, or maybe just my attention span because it evades me this morning...
Leigh of the CC
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05-28-2007 Leigh G.
Hmmm...very interesting. With all these poems in a row with a haunting effect, I suppose that's been your style for a while, eh? This is a good piece, and even though there's a haunting effect there isn't much more to say about it, no offense. I didn't see any errors, so I congratulate you there. Good descriptions and the like too, I hope you got a good grade. :) Good work, keep writing.
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
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08-07-2006 David Pekrul
This is very descriptive and paints quite a picture, although not a pretty one. I'll be interested to see what changes you make from your teachers' suggestions.
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07-30-2006 Erin G.
Hi Sam,
This poem is great. I like how you described everything, like the window view, the water bottle, and the part about friendship. I also liked how your poem made you want more, but at the same time the ending was perfect. I loved the last line, and it (as i said before) was a perfect ending to the poem.
xoxo erin
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06-20-2006 Richard Reed Jr
Hi Sam,
Excellent descriptive narrative. The poetic voice comes through loud and clear, with well chosen words and powerful imagery.
The close was really awesome:
It is difficult to set boundaries on love for your friends, and keep to them.
Carefree laughter is no more.
Thanks for the good read,
Rich
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