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Quicksand of Time
by Jessica P. (Age: 15)
copyright 06-09-2006
Contest Winner


Age Rating: 7 to 127

  Quicksand of Time
Picture Credits:

Sinking in a quicksand of memories
Some hurt, some don't, it really depends
On the way you look at things
But some are of fights, and some of meeting ends

Falling faster now, it's up to my knees
It's beginning to squeeze and I'm getting scared
I don't want to look back at you, my old pal
But then at least it was nice to know someone cared

But now I'm hip deep in the past and I'm
Getting overwhelmed by a lot, especially thoughts of you
But now I can see you weren't being polite
You used me, and that's really quite crude

Sinking farther, I'm up to my chest, I
Don't know how much more of this I can take, I'm not sure
If I can stand a whole lot more, but
I can stand my own ground, there's got to be a cure

Now my head only shows but no, I'm not scared
I've found my strength, my hope, and most of all my faith
I can't be scared of my past, because it's all over now
Ahah! I'll be out of this trap now at any rate

See, I'm rising a little, you can now see my neck
I'm finding my dreams and also a smile
As the Lord lifts me out just little by little
My smile is now broad, that hasn't happened in a while

I guess it never hurts to smile, things always get better
Don't be scared of the past - you'll be trapped forever
Just stand your own ground and never back down
When your life's at the bottom things can only get better


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06-19-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

Hi Jessica,

Congrats on winning my contest. You certainly deserved it. I think you scared the competition, even David lol.

A great expressive voice, with good rhyme and rhythm, good imagery. A real delight to read and very gripping and powerful.

Congrats again, Thank You,

Rich


06-18-2006 BJ Niktabe    

Congratulations on your win, Jessica. I like how your write progresses slowly deeper into the quicksand. The more I read this, the more I liked it.

Just want to point out a couple of things:
"It's beginningf to" s/b It's beginning to
"But then t least" s/b But then at least

I wrote a piece for this contest (not a winner in my eyes), but forgot to enter it in time. If you care to read it, it's at
http://www.prose-n-poetry.com/display_work/18208

Congratulations again on your win.

BJ


06-09-2006 David Pekrul    

WOW! You've come a long way since you started writing. I was going to write something for this contest, but now I don't think I'd win anyway. Your poem is really good.
Oh, I think I'll try to write something anyways. I don't mind losing to you; you've done an excellent job with this one.


Visitor Reads: 390
Total Reads: 416
Comments: 3

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