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Don't anybody get too het up over me having a conversation like this with my doc. He only has eyes for his wife.
I went to the doc
For a physical one day.
True's said I needed one,
If I was gonna get paid.
The doc was all ready,
To get my height and weight,
But I had too many clothes on,
So he could not palpate.
"Take 'em off," he said,
Then he slipped out of the room.
That room was as cold as
The dark side of the moon!
Well, I took my spurs and boots off,
Then I took off my hat.
I said, "That good 'nuff, doc?"
He said, "No, I need more'n that."
"When I come back this time,
I wanna see nothing but hide.
You can put on that gown,
So you can save your pride."
Now this was something
To put me to the test.
I started to unsnap,
My leather sheepskin vest.
I unbuckled my chaps,
Let them slip to the ground,
And then I started on
My long sleeved button down.
I undid my buckle,
Then took off my belt,
You just can't believe,
How naked I already felt.
Unknotted my glad rag,
Pulled off my socks,
Unbuttoned my jeans,
My knees started to knock.
It was freezing in there,
And I was still half dressed!
My goosebumps complained
With each layer that I lessed.
I pulled off my t-shirt,
And long underwear pants,
Then took off my thermal shirt,
No more would I chance.
I put the gown on over,
My underwear and bra.
In came the doc
He stared at me in awe.
"What're you gawking at?"
I just about yelled.
"Your underwear is silk and lace,
I can't believe it!" He trilled.
I sat there blushing,
My poor blue toes turned red,
In my lacey, small silk underwear
I could have just dropped dead.
The doc laughed outright.
He said, "I do declare,
I ain't never seen a cowhand
In pink silk underwear!"
I got kinda sully,
"At least it don't chap my hide,
When that broncy mare of mine
Takes me for a ride."
He finished his exam,
Checked everything but my hair,
Then he said, "Could you call my wife
And tell her where you got that underwear?"
This was a collaboration between my daughter, Jessica, and I. We had a lot of fun with this one. She gets half the credit for it.
October, 2001
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