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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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 11-26-2007 Cassie S.
Hi Melissa, I really like your poem! It sounds exactly like something I would write. There is one thing I would fix though. In the second stanza there's too much rhyming going on. Maybe you should try switching "walk away" to leave, or something like that. I'm not sure it just sounds kinda off to me. I also think it may flow better if in the fourth verse you make it "Would you tell me the same" See what you think, just a suggestion. I like it anyway though, I said it's something I'd write so of course I do. ha ha :P
Just a fellow writer,
~Cassie~
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09-20-2007 Emily Garwood
Hi Melissa this is a really good poem with truth to it but another thing you should have in mind is that the "what ifs" accumulate if you don't take a chance...even if you get hurt.
I used to ask what if question alot until this person told me i should just stop wondering and ask what if and take a chance yea you might get hurt turned down laughed at but thats one what if down and one less question unless you're the really REALLY curious type that's gonna start thinking what if i had said it differently lol....but anyways good poem and well written keep up the really good work...and take a chance in life oneday you might not get another chance!!!!
Emy
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07-01-2007 Barbara Walker
Hi Melissa.
I am always happy to discover another artistic soul. You seem to possess an innate ability to create form and structure out of deep content.
I loved what you wrote in poetry form.
Once you switched over to prose, I lost you.
What is the difference between a what if and a dream?
I found the prose too wordy and a disappointment after you'd built such an amazing world of rhythm and repetitive form. I wanted you to continue to lead me on the path where you took me.
was an abandoned reader. Hooked on the style you'd gotten me used to and then dropped suddenly.
The prose also seemed overly direct to me, and yet I did not grasp what you were saying.
Is the empty line between your second and third line a mistake or on purpose? I could not understand why it was there if there are no other double lines on their own.
Lots and lots of potential. I was not sure if your last few lines were part of your poem or a question to the community.
I'm waiting for the evolution of this poem. I'm hoping to read it soon.
Barbara
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04-08-2007 Mehrina B.
I have dreams, many dreams. Not just goals in life, but actual dreams. And you know the best thing? All of them come true! Except the nightmares, but even then, some of them came true... Although I doubt that I'll find vampires in my neighbor's garden... O.o
Your poem is very inspiring, and I respect that it addresses those questions regarding what if's and dreams. A person always seems to be succumbing to one or the other. Those with dreams, they just don't stop with whatever they do. And those with what if's, they never take risks, always preferring the easy way. But then, the easy way is sort of the hard way, isn't it?
Bravo, Melissa! A wonderful write!
Her Wisdom
~*Athena*~
Of...
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11-23-2006 Richard Reed Jr
What if I had not read this poem.
My life would not be as enriched.
I love the feelings this poem invokes in me.
Good job,
Rich
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09-27-2006 Shannon W.
This is cute.
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08-08-2006 Lauren T.
Good write, its short of short and the ending is a bit hard to understand. Dreams are better then what ifs because dreams can become reality!
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08-03-2006 Mike Macdonald
I think this is cute, but frankly that's as far as I'd go in its current state. I think this piece could be pretty notable if you expanded on it more, and try to keep the poetic verse while still saying everything you want to say. Don't end your poem with a closing statement; End it with a final verse. Play with it a little more, if you still care for this piece (since you stated it's kind of old), and see what comes of it.
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