Children of Divorce (Little Man)
by
Debra Rose
(Age: 21)
copyright 06-26-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
His eyes are dark
his smile faded and his words
are spoken with the tenacity
of a teenager.
He carries a hollow grin
in the palm of his hand.
And every now and then
I hear him murmur
"Why was I born?"
He's not yet seven...
but his heart aches
with more severity
than his mom's.
Wondering why his daddy
doesn't come home at night,
wondering why...
...why his parents always have to fight.
He looks at me and says
"I don't understand"
but he hides it again
and carries his pain
scheming up some master plan
to run away
make it somehow
to a place far away
run off somehow
to Never Never Land....
But I do understand...
The pain that it takes
and the shattered hearts that lay
in the wake of the tradgedy
of a childs lonely scream...
Because parents
can never
work
it
out.
They created him...
fought so hard to make him
and the end,
the destroy him.
And while he can't find the words
and the descriptive verbs
to explain his hate,
I can say it for him.
But no words are spoken
I hold him in my arms
and instead just whisper
"I understand...
dear lord
little man...
I understand..."
I ask if he has any friends.
He says he doesn't want any...
after all, everything goes away.
See,
His world has been shattered
and he has been twisted--
he's a misfit
unable to grasp at the strings
of his life as it's breaking.
He can't even cope
with the reality of this new world.
He has no words for his pain
and still the scratches of his rage
appear on his wrists,
and he dreams of heaven...
a place where mommy and daddy
are together again.
He tells me he imagines suicide
even though he doesn't
know the word for it.
I know his pain,
and just seeing the face
that no longer smiles
brings back the memories
of the nights I spent
wishing I could die.
I hold him in my arms.
Because there's nothing that's steady
when parrents aren't married
because he can't understand
"a man is a man"
and mommy needs freedom
and daddy's got a new lady friend.
All that he knows
is the world that he clung to
the stability he held to
crumbled beneath him.
I hate them.
They did this to him,
and they'll never know
how much they've destroyed him
until he turns those already
ancient eyes,
and finds the words to say
"I'll never forgive you."
Because my parents never knew
how much I hated them.
How their childish fights
destroyed my young life.
And like me he'll have to learn
how to claw his way out
of the depression and pain
that's coming his way
because mommy and daddy
can't grow up,
can't see past their own problems
to understand
the life that they made?
They ruined
by their
own hands.
I hold him in my arms.
I whisper in his hair,
"Dear god, I understand...
little man,
I promise to you,
I understand..."
One thing that parents don't understand is that when you divorce, you rip a child's life in half. So I ask you...PLEASE...keep the fights in private...a few years of your life until they grow up is nothing compared to the pain that you will cause them of doing it when they need that stability.
This poem is true...it just happened today...and I know how it feels because I am a product of a divorced home, and just the memories of my own childhood make me want to cry.
So the next time you tell yourself "I have to divorce them!" stop and think of the child who will say "I don't want to live" because of it.
Please be the grown up...keep your fights behind doors, and remember that whatever you choose, it will affect your child a million times more.
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Dear God,
What a powerful poetic voice. You must have suffered much, just writing this, let alone the circumstances surrounding it. Very well expressed, I only wish it could have been happier.
I pray your life is now as happy as your poetry is great.
Hmmm...I didn't hate my parents for the fighting or the divorce. I hated myself, thinking that it was my fault. My heart goes out to this little boy. You're so right, in that their lives are already ripped apart, so the constant fighting and bitterness only makes it worse.
I love, too, the power in this. It reminds me how much we underestimate the huge emotional and psychological impact domestic disputes have on children. Coming from divorced parents, who weren't selfless enough (for their children's sake) to actually amicably divorce sooner, I can entirely relate.
Thank you for your words, David! I actually wrote this last night when I was half asleep after a conversation with another one of my "nephews" (my step mom's best friends son). His parents are getting divorced, and some of the things he told me ripped me apart.
This is so powerful, so very powerful. We all remember and feel the things that happened when we were children, both good things and bad. Bad things, as described here, are the most painful, and make even an adult feel like a child in pain, when remembering.
On the technical side, there are a few typos and grammatical errors; just read it over again slowly and you will find them.
Welcome !
