Ode to Pegasus/Helios
by
Tabitha Beaudin
(Age: 30)
copyright 06-28-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Picture Credits:
Was it just yesterday? When you dissolved this bleakness surrounding me? Like a pallid glimmer you called to me, a swirling phantasm that wrapped itself around the shadows. A soft melody that broke this desolation trapped within my soul.
Oh, what is this consuming me? What is it? Are you real, my winged horse? My constant companion. Are you really a memory or an Illusion haunting my memories?
But I swear I hear your name whispered on the wind. Your soft kiss still lingers, like a cruel tattoo piercing my heart. This all plays upon the darkest reaches of my mind. So please tell me, my precious love, if you are real, when will you return to me?
Oh what is this consuming me? What is it? Are you real, my winged horse? My constant companion. Are you really a memory or a illusion haunting my memories.
Through all these years, I still mourn you. The twisted hands of fate gave me the briefest moments in your arms, just to tear it all away. You left me, only half awake, trapped within the contours off our softest dream.
Oh, what is this consuming me? What is it? Are you real, my Pegasus. My constant companion. You are the memory haunting me!
Helios, my prince of dreams, answer my prayers and just once appear before me. Make these doubts fall away, do you even remember me, because I have not forgotten you. For the sweetness off your touch still lingers on my flesh.
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you recommend or rate the work highly...
Amazing. I just love it. Helios is really cool, and that is what attracted me to this poem. So, good work! Me likes it!
Erbarley! Megan C.(or call me Mina)
You have a gift with words and all of your poems create an enchanting quicksand for the reader to get caught up in. I also thought this had a musical quality to it, and great imagery.
I do not know of Helios and I am not exactly a Chibi-Usa fan, but those facts do not bar me from giving praise where it is due. The choice of words gives the impression of a melody rather than a poem, but that is not a flaw: rather, it is an asset. As befitting something compared to a melody, the rhythm of the words is in harmony with the theme of uncertain love. One mistake I have found is in the mechanical aspects: misspellings and incorrect punctuation marks are present throughout the work and may catch the eye of more than a few readers. This may take the reader's attention off of the work and put it on the mistakes, something no author wants to happen.
Aside from that, this is a solid ode to the love between two "people". You have a firm grasp of how to write poetry, but the only real problem you have is grammar. However, that problem is relatively minor compared to the overall quality of your other works of this variety. Just edit for grammar and keep up the good work!
That kissing is overwhelmingly beautiful
to my mind, i just wish that i could believe that
there is some reality to this sweet divine,
precursor to mankind, but i think that they
are to human in appearance to really be living
beings from heaven.
"in search of the mistress of babylon"
Welcome !
