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Unrequited Love
by
Mehrina Butt
(Age: 18)
copyright 07-04-2006
Age Rating: 10 +
Every time I close my eyes
I see the face of my elusive dreams
Reaching long and far to hold on to what I can
To whatever my lone heart needs
My searching gaze meets no ends
Until it lands on your lovely face
And that’s when I realize
The love in my tender embrace
My lone heart aches for you
My lovely, sweet dove
Your light fills my sight
You wondrous being from above
I envy you so, your freedom
I love you so, your beauty
I want you so, your love
I need you, don’t you see?
No, alas for my lone heart
I know your gaze wanders elsewhere
My bruised heart aches ultimately
When I see you do not care
If this is love, I do not want it
Yet I’ve succumbed to it, to you
My love, my dear sweet love
Do you not love me too?
~*Inspired by the song on PNP, GingaIchi Mibun Chigai Na Kataomoi*~
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page
02-26-2008
Eric Gasparich
The poem is very nice, but made doubly poignant by the picture. I enjoyed that character in the series very much. It is pretty well known that Naoko-sama didn't approve of the way the Sailor Starlights were handled in the final season. In fact, she was really surprised that the anime writers made them the focus of the Stars season. All that aside, I really liked Anime Seiya, and thought they did a good job of making him a fit rival for Usagi's heart. The episodes where Seiya realizes he cannot win and reconciles himself to it are among my favorites.
The poem does a pretty good job of capturing that sense of final recognition that one has failed, even as one tries to salvage anything one can from the loss. Good job.
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04-17-2007
Leah G.
awww... Meh- that was so sweet! It had a great flow and rhythm. It also (duh, nuh, nuh, nuhhh...) RHYMED! Amazing! See- i knew you could rhyme. It just takes practice. I still like your free verse poems too. Great write! (i''m sorry i didn't give you praise points. I only have one point left!)
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09-24-2006
BJ Niktabe
This flows so completely natural, unforced. The rhymes also had that same feel, unforced. Yet your message comes across in the same way. This is really excellent!
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07-17-2006
Richard Reed Jr
Hi Mehrina-chan,
A very bitter-sweet poem tinged with a dark, haunting quality. The tone of the poet's voice was very convincing and not over done. A mixture of simplicity and complexity, with really clever
rhyming. Good descriptive words matching well the tone of the poem. This poem really expresses your feelings in a way that touches me deeply and I'm sure touches everyone else that reads it.
Thank you for sharing this, thank you for visiting my site and commenting, and most of all, thank you for being my constant and steady friend.
Most fondly,
Rich
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07-06-2006
Sam Hackel-Butt
I need not say who this reminds me of. I really really like this one. It reminds me of something I would write, because I imagine I'm talking to the person a poem is based on, or can give me the proper feelings for a piece. This has a very smooth speech pattern thing-a-ma-bobber to it. Beautiful, girl. Who is this man? ;)
-Helen
Of the Commenting Crusaders
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07-05-2006
Leigh Gilholm Fisher
Alright...I'm calm now, and not unfocused and battling a friend in IM. Don't ask... Like I said, your choice of words was great, and so was the flow. I'm still in shock though! You really tell a story in this one, and since this is by you, one of my best friends Meh-chan, ;), I don't find any spelling or grammar mistakes. The story you tell is heart wrenching, coupled by great descriptions and all of the like. Forgive me for the incorrect praise before...I've been reading some bad poems recently... As I was saying, I see you've blended a few of the idea of the poems you ran by me earlier, and I also see you used some ideas I gave you. :) This is a great piece, and I hope to see many more to come!
Your friend,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
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07-05-2006
Haley Robinson
Wow! This was amazing! I like the rhyme pattern a lot! It worked well, and flowed. I especially like the last stanza, and the last line. "Do you not love me to?" I think it's so incredibly inoccent and sweet. And also I like how you talk about not wanting love if it was like how you described it. It made the "Narrator", you might call it, like a person that I could really relate to!
Nice Job!
The Commenting Crusader,
Haley
p.s. You have completely mastered the art of love poems! CLAPS FOR MEHRINA!!!!!!
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07-05-2006
Leigh Gilholm Fisher
MY LORD MEHRINA!!!! A LOVE POEM?!?!?!?!?!?! I'm still in shock...miss anti-love, anti-romance, wrote a love poem? You only like to read about love!!! Alright...I'm done picking on you. :)
The flow and choice of words on this piece are wonderful, you did a really great job with this. I'll make this comment, to beat Haley to the honor!!! Great work, keep writing!
Your friend,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders!
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