A Selfish Man
Age Rating: 18 +
Oh how selfish some men can be;
Think nothing of others, its all about me , me , me.
I know the man that I speak of;
He seems to know most everything, but nothing of love.
I was to be his inspiration and his appetite for longing,
Still my arms open wide searching for belonging.
Not a rub of his hand on my bottom or thigh,
Not even a kiss hello or good-bye.
He leaves each day and returns in the evening,
Only to do routine and expects to be king.
I mend his clothes, feed his needs, and put him first,
And some how he disconcerns my thirst.
I've tried to conversate with him, but I get nowhere,
Sometimes all I can do to elude my pain is constantly swear.
Why can't he see that all I ask is for the same in return,
He acts like he doesn't get it, like he'll never learn!
He works hard all the time,
And I'm left here to do this.... Rhyme!
I need him to include me and make me feel whole,
Instead of blocking me out and bleeding my soul.
But Then He......
Spends his wages irresponsibly and without priority,
When I object he simply says it's his authority.
See what I mean selfish and a son of a b#@%h,
And then I'm made out to be the sinister witch.
I ask for some time for him and I,
He always finds something to do bye-n-bye.
When he needs something I am the last to call,
He makes me feel worthless and so small.
And Then He......
Says he'll be right back and doesn't return for hours,
Which pisses me off because he lacks the powers;
or sensibility to just pick up a phone and let me know,
That he'll be late or consideration enough to just say Hello!
I give him space, I respect his needs, I also bite my tongue,
I understand that he's only twenty-four and is still young.
Hell!! I am too but it doesn't excuse me or him of our responsibilities.
He doesn't understand this so it leads to the hostilities.
Don't get me wrong, we don't abuse each other or slap or hit,
But we do yell when it comes down to it.
I know my place in this relationship, in this family, in this house,
I just wish he would be a good father and a loving spouse.
I'm not permitted to work because I don't have a car to get around,
But every time I bring up an idea on something it gets shot down.
He doesn't listen to me when I talk of things of importance,
He acts like he doesn't have to because he wears the pants.
All I do is try to make everything work and run as smooth as possible,
But he ignores my words and makes things seem like a mission impossible.
He listens only when he wants too, which isn't often,
So do you see now why I say; selfish are some men.
My husband is a good man when he applies himself,
But mostly his actions are only to pride ones' self.
I feel like I'm raising a fourth child, a teenager at that,
I call him names like A$$- hole and Spoiled Brat.
I know that doesn't help matters much,
But y'all he's broken and I'm his crutch;
If I break too that will doom us all.
The weight of everything is about to make me fall.
I am expected to fix every problem because obviously I have the brains,
But Damn so much stress on me causes me daily pain.
I don't know how long I can last,
With out his help; our relationship may become something in the past.
Some days are better than others, but some are worse,
I can only hope that we do not totally disperse.
I don't think I could handle that right now,
And he acts like, if given the chance he would disavow.
He rarely thinks of his children like he should,
And I just wish he understood;
That he's not just hurting me if that's what he wants to do,
He's hurting them babies, who are only four and two.
It's not their fault that they have a selfish father and a caring mother,
And it's not their fault that we have fights one after another.
I love my children, my husband, and my family in whole,
So did I choose the wrong one to forever extol?
Good question but the answer is no, I did not,
I must wait patiently for him to realize what he's got.
I will not leave or back down from this,
I'm going to stand my ground and hope it doesn't persist.
I know it will go on for a while,
Until he's able to escape from his denial.
And when he does I will be here, just like before,
Only I won't be with a selfish man anymore.