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Night and Day
by Jessica P. (Age: 15)
copyright 07-11-2006


Age Rating: 4 to 127

  Night and Day
Picture Credits:

Sun
Warm, bright
Shining, smiling, dancing
Brilliant, golden, big, crescent
Glowing, understanding, knowing
Relaxed, tsuki
Moon




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02-19-2008 Cassie S.    

I really like this poem! It confused me at first with the moon on the bottom but I think I got the idea. Great descriptive words, it's short but sweet! I like the imagery too! Great Job!
~Cassie JSG~
07-11-2006 David Pekrul    

This is a good description of the sun and the moon. As far as the poem form goes, I know you are writing a Diamonte, but you haven't quite got it right. In a Diamonte, the fourth line should be nouns, but "Brilliant, golden, big" are all adjectives. I'm sure this won't be hard to fix, then it will be great.
I also wrote a Diamonte a while back on the same subject, called "Sun And Moon". I had the same problem as you when I first wrote it. Check it out at http://www.prose-n-poetry.com/display_work/17956
I'll give you the full five points when it is corrected.
Visitor Reads: 275
Total Reads: 286
Comments: 2

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