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Sometimes...
I get downtrodden and defeated...
I want to forget the reasons
that I began to like her,
because the hate of the world
makes me sick.
Already those I thought were friends
turn their heads
because
I don't fit their image
of a females existence.
I'm sorry that I feel for her...
I'm sorry I don't love a man.
I'm sorry I feel sick
each time I touch
the hardened, dirty flesh
of the opposite sex.
I'm sorry I can't be like you...
be who you wanted.
But I won't let you break me this time.
I won't let you talk me out of
my emotions
or shame me for the way I feel.
Because my care for her is strong...
it's building and growing
and I'm sitting here holding
my fragile hopes that perhaps...
...perhaps I'll find a place,
a way,
to hide from your disgusted eyes.
I don't care if my "lifestyle" offends you,
because you think I chose this?
Chose to shame my mother?
Disgust my family?
You think I want to struggle?
Or would you rather I...
...I spend a miserable life...
married for the sake of your
"normal" lies?
Have children...
a house,
two dogs,
and a man...
...and want to kill myself all over again?
Reserve your judgement...
I don't tell you
how I am disgusted by your religion
your choice of clothing or even...
your heterosexuality.
I don't express my hate of your
"choice" to be straight.
So don't say it to me....
after all...if god meant me to different,
why did god not make me so?
I won't listen to your judgement this time.
I won't listen to your jokes.
Despite the pain that radiates
at the look in my mothers eyes...
the rage I feel from my coworkers...
or my peers even on this site...
I'll not change.
I'm not sorry anymore if you don't like it.
I'm not sorry that it bothers you,
and I sure as hell
am not sorry it offends you.
I hope it sits under your skin,
I hope it grates your nerves,
I hope you pray for my death,
and I hope I make you uncomfortable...
because your choosing how I affect you,
and that choice makes me smile.
"Be yourself, don't take anyones (bs), and never let them take you alive." ~Gerard Way
"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me (darn) it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision." --Stacy Carter
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