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Things never change
by
Alma H.
(Age: 15)
copyright 07-30-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Take the hit,
Touch your soul,
Hold on tight,
Here we go.
You tell me things,
That always repeat,
You never forget,
Yet never retreat.
Things never change,
Between me and you,
You say other wise,
But know it's true.
I sit and wait,
For something new,
Give me another,
Challenge gate.
Things never change,
In this world,
I want something more,
Than a cage.
I fell down,
You never helped,
You laughed,
And turned around.
Sometimes,
I wonder,
About you,
If you'll change.
Things never change,
For that I'm sure,
Between you and I,
You ruined my world.
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-14-2007 Leigh G.
Not bad at all. I liked how you brought everything together in the end, and used proper capitalization. :) Although the lines were short, you told your story in a clear to-the-point manner. Good work on the poem capitalization, but I suggest you capitalize the title, too. I can see what you mean that in the small lives of normal people, things never seem to change even though the world changes around us. Kinda reminds me of an element I had going in my most recent poem, Watching. Change can be a good thing, but it can also be a scary thing. I used to dislike change, but I have a determination to make my life better so I embrace change, good or bad, and if it's bad I do my best to brighten the situation and make it better. Good work, keep writing!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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03-30-2007 Samantha P.
This makes me think of my last relationship, or every relationship i have had with a guy. I thought you worded this really good and that you put a lot of emotion into it. It is true with a lot of people that things never change. It reminds me of the movie the Matrix, just thought id mention that. No errors spotted. It makes you think of how much change is good in the world and how it can also be really bad. Kind of depressing but still good. Love this piece of work!
Samantha
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02-27-2007 Haley R.
I like this poem a lot! I like how the lines are short, but still have a lot of meaning. I also like how you chose to make your rhyme scheme differ!
And I also like what this poem is focused on. I think it's an interesting topic to write about! You don't see many poems written about a person who is in I guess a...bad? relationship..I'm not sure if "bad" is the right word, but you get my point...A "difficult" relationship! There. That's a good word. =]
Anyway, great job! I can't wait to read more by you!!
-Haley R.
of the Commenting Crusaders
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11-16-2006 Debra Rose
The rythm seemed to stumble for me a little near the end, but otherwise, this was very good. The message about things never changing...in the world and in your personal life, it is hard to change.
I once read somewhere that's not making the descision to change that's hard, it's doing it. And that's true. I've had to change a lot...had to let go of friends who were only hurting, and habbits that nearly killed me. It's a tough fight, but it's worth it none the less.
Never let them destroy you, and never let them take you alive LOL
Great work
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10-19-2006 Euna P.
I really liked it. It relates to a personal (painful) experience of mine. We were best friends, then when we got into Junior High, she left me behind, made new best friends, and sorta left me hangeing there... If you want, you can read about in in my newest poem, "Iron Friendship...Broken". If this is based on a personal experience of yours, I understand completly and totally.
Your flow of wrting is completly and totally awesome! I cannot do rhymed poetry to save my life. I have one attempt posted, but it's not great. ^_^ I envy you. The emotion in this piece was so clear, and I admired the way you juggled words to make your meaning even more clear. Way to go! Be sure to email me next time you write something else!
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09-26-2006 Tammy Frascona
Wise beyond your years Girl! I loved the write, it flows so nice and I'm sorry you were hurt like this so young but sometimes it takes bad things to happen and to be deceived before we learn and understand somethings and I think you have done that here in perfect stanzas! Great Job Alma, Sorry I haven't stopped by in a while! Tammy F.
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08-24-2006 Richard Reed Jr
You are indeed very wise and gifted. I could hear the voice of the poet come through with strength and conviction, but stating life as a matter of fact -that's the way it is sometimes, but at other times it's a beautiful life.
Good piece.
Bravo!
Your PnP friend,
Rich
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08-15-2006 Emily Garwood
I agree with Lisa for 13 you are VERY talented the poem flows nicely and obviously alot of emotion went into it Keep up the good work...Think of it this way don't count on anyone to pick you up be your own "knight in shining armour" the right person will pick you up oneday
Emy
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08-11-2006 Lisa Harmon
Brilliant poem, omg i can't believe you're only 13!! lol! i can't see any mistakes(not that im lokking for then hahaha) apart from the last verse "things never change, for that i'm sure,between you and i, you ruined my word" im not sure if you meaqn of instead of for..well either way..love it!
keep it up
lisa
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08-07-2006 Tabitha Beaudin
Alma, this is a very strong piece, I am sorry that you are feeling this way and that this person has put you in this kind of place. Sometimes its hard to let go off something that isn't right for you.
The writing over all was very good, I did not see any technical errors and some off your word choices were very haunting.
Great Job, Tabby.
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