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My idea for a contest is to challenge those who enter to create the oddest possible character and give him/her/it a background. I offer my creation, the Sock Deity, as an example.
The Sock Deity (AKA Prince Nigel), son of King Fabron of the Footie Kingdom and Queen Silkstockings of the Silkysmooth Kingdom, is a red and navy blue argyle sock with diamond patterns of yellow stitching sewn on his regal surface. Being an article of clothing for an Oxford psychology professor, this royal sock speaks with a British accent. Unlike his laidback father King Fabron, who rules North America, Prince Nigel is an uptight and demanding monarch of the Fancysock Kingdom of the British Isles. Considerably taller than his father, he derives a sadistic pleasure from mocking his "short-stitched" father. His mother Queen Silkstockings, a woman's nylon sock with dominion over all of France, calls him her "little footie-pie", a name he despises greatly.
A major problem of Nigel's originates from within the family: his uncle Czar Kalfsok, the ruler of Russia, says that he is of dubious heritage and is therefore unfit to rule. All male monarchs of the Fabulous Footwear Foundation (the organization of ruling socks of the world) are supposed to be of 100% cotton make, but Czar Kalfsok and his supporters contend that this is not the case with the British sock. Kalfsok claims that Prince Nigel is of half-nylon and half-cotton mixture, but he has no substantial evidence to prove this claim. However, rumor has it that the prince was the product of a rushed production schedule at a sock factory in Dover, so instead of being made of handstitched 100% cotton thread he was hastily sewn together with nylon and cotton thread on a sewing machine. Nigel has battled Czar Kalfsok's claims so far, but other rumors of his heritage circulating among other members of the FFF show no signs of stopping.
As ruler of all the socks of the British Isles, owners both high and low in social status are affected by the whim of Prince Nigel. At his fancy, humans either miraculously find lost articles of clothing or somehow lose them in the yawning abyss of public laundromats and private washing machines. Being an upper-class argyle sock, he demands unwavering obedience from his subjects and is not afraid to use force to get it: a rebellion of Highlander socks in Glasgow, Scotland was put down with quantities of clothing starch hurled from the hills of Glasgow by royal sock catapults made from underwear of both human genders stretched between two thick poles. Surviving rebels were tortured with hot irons on ironing boards and those that refused to return to the royal hamper were hung out on a clothing line, where London canines leapt up to the low-hanging line and snatched the offending socks off, who were never to be seen intact again. Prince Nigel, or The Sock Deity as he prefers to be called ever since he read of the Aztec ruler Montezuma's socks, is a Machiavellian prince who has two goals in life: to ensure that his name lives on long after he wears away and to prove his 100% cotton pedigree to Czar Kalfsok and his cronies in the Fantastic Footwear Federation.
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