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Mistaken
by Walter Jones (Age: 63)
copyright 08-26-2006


Age Rating: 18 to 127

 
I was just the other side of sixteen
In the midst of another childhood dream
She was reaching for me
I was looking for a place to go
The night ended as the sun broke the dawn

I walked the streets of a little town
No place to hide my shame
I was not even sure of hers or my name
Wires of trip spread like a trap
Explosions of feelings image that

No palace on hill
Just a bunch of dead bodies
Nothing left to kill
Cry me river
Does not matter if you do
Over the other side
I miss you

Bags filled with sand
Hole dug deep enough to cover a man
Tunnels weaving from here to there
Heartache does not care

I was the other side of hell
Some how managed to get her home
Trouble in the sky above
She said it was gratitude
I had mistaken for love


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08-28-2006 Roger Crique    

You start out with an explosion of imagery the likes of dreams or nightmares. I was deeply engrossed in this one! Whether in a real town or in the town of the mind or at war with the world or at war with one self, this piece is depicts the battles of mankind, let alone the battle of the mind. You concluded with a bang, no pun intended. There are great metaphoric sentences here, such as, "There is trouble in the sky," or "She said it was gratitude I had mistaken for love." Or, "I walked the streets of a little town No place to hide my shame." I wonder what was shameful? The conclusion was wrapped up very neatly and cleverly. Great job, Walter!
Visitor Reads: 298
Total Reads: 302
Comments: 1

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