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Yesterday's Sand

by Irina Guschina (Age: 59)
copyright 09-03-2006


Age Rating: 16 +

Do you hear my voice,
Soft like a night wave
Hidden by love lie?
Do you see my eyes,
Grey like sea's pebbles,
Filled with timid warmth?

Walking behind me you smile.
just smile. What could you do else?
You wrote ardent loving words
On the yesterday's hot sand.
The sad sea sighs behind you,
Echoing my whispering.






Visitor Reads: 844
Total Reads: 869
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        03-05-2008     Eric Gasparich        

Oh wow. What a fine effort. That English is not your first language makes this even more interesting.

I read your biography, and I am impressed with your desire to move beyond your borders and reach out to a greater audience. I do not envy people who have to learn English as a second language. I've only recently understood just how difficult English is to pick up if you were not raised in it. It is a polyglot language designed to prey upon other languages, after a fashion, and it works well as an International lingua franca because of that. However, it lacks the solid, culturally derived parochialism of French or Russian, and that can make it difficult to pick up. I'm especially amazed by Japanese who speak English well, since their language is almost the "anti-English," deeply rooted in a very old culture. But enough of that.

As to your poem, what wonderful imagery and ardor. It has only a few English "missteps" and in my (never humble) opinion they add a little to the poetic quality. Even better though is the "tightness" of your poem. It packs a lot of things into a very small package, and this something I like very much. It may even be something of an advantage that English is not your first language. If this economy of words is a trait of the Russian language, I hope you don't lose that as you continue to improve your efforts in this language.

Fantastic. I have limited time for writing reviews, but I am putting you on my "favorites" list, so I can find you easily in the future. I am so glad to have found another quality writer to review.

        10-26-2007     Lyle Berry        

Irina:

Always the power of your emotions and depth of your meaning expressed by so few words is amazing and heart rending. This poem is more complex than others of yours I am so familiar with. Your work is gaining momentum and has become even more moving than your early oriental forms. I enjoyed this thoroughly. Thank you for sharing.
Warmest Regards, Lyle

        09-11-2006     Richard Reed Jr        

Your voice rises out of your poem with beauty and grace. What beautiful metaphors symbolizing human emotions.


Great Write!

Your new fan and friend,

Rich

        09-06-2006     James Shammas        

Freakin' beautiful!! I will dare compare this to the work of Virginia Woolf, particularly "The Waves." It is the way you compare human feelings so closely allied with the surrounding physical phenomena. A wonderful interplay of forces here.

JIm

        09-05-2006     Jennifer Campbell-Kletzli        

I have three words for you:

Very beautiful poem!

(I'm a bit rusty on the comments right now so that's all I can think of to say. Sorry! -_-)

Thanks for the read!

~Jenn



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