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On Line
Robert Betts
Eric Gasparich
Selena M.
Mary -BrytEyz- Ball
4 Writers

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Fleeting Moments
by Alysyn Bourque (Age: 40)
copyright 09-19-2006


Age Rating: 16 to 127

 
So faintly you whisper as we awaken...
I have no need for dreaming, for you, my love,
Have become my sleeping visions realized.
With every kiss you nourish my heart;
Each supple embrace of your smile's hosts
Is your entry into the depths of me.

How much without have I been these years
Not knowing the salt and savor of your skin
Which so tests my tongue to find such favor
In even the most culinary of delights.
How forsaken was I to be denied so sweet
A nectar as that your body's kiss provides.

Now so young these days have come to visit
In the loving gaze of your eyes upon me
E'er the morning reaches its apex, and we,
Within each other founded, give the day its due
In our bodies, as we sacrifice one unto the other
All that we are such that fear can take no hold.

Seek remembrance of me, my love, in sleep and in
Peaceful awakenings; your smile, unlike the day,
In my memory never declines but is a truer light
Than any star set firmly, or moon held in fainter
Reflection of even such an igneous heavenly.
Seek me, love, for in sleep only, now, do I find you.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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01-04-2007 Jordan Screws    

Judging from the comments of others and my own reading of your work, you have a great talent for writing poetry. Everything here is done well: grammar, spelling, etc. The word choice is effective and makes the abstract concept of love seem to take a concrete form. I am unable to find any glaring mistakes with anything related to this poem. You are far and away better than I am at writing poetry, but that is to your benefit. Keep up the good work!

Jordan of the Commenting Crusaders
10-01-2006 Gregory Christiano    

Wonderfully romantic, gentle and expressed with tender feelings. Your verse is soothing and lulls the reader into a dreamstate. Dreaming of love and its beauty. Nice job Alysyn.
Gregory
09-23-2006 David Pekrul    

I have written a few free-form poems, but find it very difficult. Your's seems to have come easily to you, as it flows quite nicely.
09-20-2006 Brian Dickenson    

I must say that free verse is not a form that I normally enjoy reading, this proves an exception. The emotions it describes are so very well portrayed.
This I can relate to.
well done.
Visitor Reads: 269
Total Reads: 292
Comments: 4

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