What NOT To Do
by
Mary -BrytEyz- Ball
(Age: 40)
copyright 09-23-2006
Age Rating: 1 to 127
Don’t lie to anyone, not even yourself
Don’t steal, Don’t cheat, Don’t hate
Don’t covet what your neighbor has
Don’t idolize before it’s too late
Don’t be selfish, think of others
Don’t forget good deeds when you’re able
Don’t serve other gods, or bow down to them
Don’t forget the one true one for sure!
Don’t eat yellow snow
Don’t spit into the wind
Don’t go back to someone who broke up with you
NEVER go back to him again
Don’t scratch your butt
Don’t lift when you’re farting
Never smell your fingers
To see what vapors are departing
Don’t pick your zits
Don’t tell a lie
Never pull a girl’s pigtails
Or kiss them and make them cry
Don’t cut in line
Don’t pick your nose
Don’t you dare eat your boogers
Who’s watching, only heaven knows!
Don't forget your manners
Don’t look in windows or stare
Never look down the barrel of a gun
And if you do, beware
Don’t swim with alligators
Don’t tease a shark
Never make a pit bull mad
He’ll tear you all apart
Don’t cross without looking
Don’t run with laces untied
Don’t forget to enjoy the day
Or you’ll watch them all fly by
Don’t look down a girl’s shirt
Don’t make a huge mess
Never wear patent leather shoes
If you’re going to wear a dress
Don’t frustrate your children
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you
Never tempt the wrath of a woman scorned
You’ll be sorry if you do
Don’t lick a pole in winter
Don’t ride a bike without breaks
Don’t go with a stranger
I don’t care what he says
Don’t skip class
Don’t cheat on tests
Never forget the lid on the blender
Cuz that sure makes a big mess!
Don’t be mean to animals
Don’t be mean to your brother
Don’t piss off your Dad
Or you’ll have to deal with your mother
Don’t forget your coat in winter
Don’t forget to take time to play
Don’t just hear what I’ve told you
Listen to what I’ve got to say
Don’t lie to anyone, not even yourself
Don’t steal, Don’t cheat, Don’t hate
Don’t covet what your neighbor has
Don’t idolize before it’s too late
Don’t be selfish, think of others
Don’t forget good deeds when you’re able
Don’t serve other gods, or bow down to them
Don’t forget the one true one for sure!
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Heh heh... sounds like advice from my grandparents. This work is quite amusing. Judging from the list of things you have created, you seem to have a lot of life experience and an interesting childhood. This reminded me of the advice my parents and grandparents gave to me when I was younger, and a good deal of it still holds true as an adult. Thanks for bringing back the warm, fairly fuzzy memories.
WOW, I found this hilarious...then again I find anything funny^.^, I have to admit I have done a couple but not the gross ones lol! I tell lies.....I hate...and I pick zits (we call then spots) and I cheat on tests ¬.¬' (Not always though), lol! Well anyway I hope to see more of these, it was hilarious and like the others I did crack up at a couple =D Good write,
Tasha ^^
You are so admired by so very many, Rich, I hope you know that. To me, you are an oasis amidst a sea of dry and barren hearts. Thank you for that. I will cherish your friendship always!
Of all the bad things that I have done in my short life of 14 you basically nailed all of them. I am guilty as charged. I'll admit I did some bad things in my part. I have learned from them and I will NEVER do them again, for every year older the punishments get worse!
Good job!
Shannon
Yay! They like it!!! (Happy dance all around PnP!!!
David: You know some of these don't apply to those honored with retirement, don't you? LOL. Retirement gives you rights that the rest of us peons don't enjoy as of yet. (Grin)You can do what was on your list, David, under one condition... you write me and tell me all about it!!!!!
Aunt BJ: (HUGE EAR TO EAR GRIN) ANY time I can put a smile on your beautiful face, I am content. So, if my silly little diddy did it for you... I cam pleased!!! My kids were standing around while I was writing this and cracking up. I have to be honest here, my initial responses were all serious and "advice" I'd like to offer them. But I didn't want them to feel like I was "preaching" to them so I tried to inject a bit of humor here and there to make them laugh and keep coming back to read more of what I was writing. I think it was an hour well spent cuz they're going around repeating it to themselves all day long. I can only hope they take to heart the serious notes as well as the funny ones. :-)
Sam: I'm so glad you enjoyed it and that the humorous parts made the more serious more palatable. That was EXACTLY my intention and it's nice to know it was achieved. HUGS, girl... and thanks so much for reading, rating, and most of all commenting.
LOL!
I too, cracked up at the parts mentioned by BJ. Unfortunately, I've done a few on the list. Like skip class, and run with shoe laces untied. The lesson learned from that hurt. I tripped in gym class and hit my face into the wall, giving myself a black eye. I loved the humor sprinkled into the more serious pieces of advice. I think they made me really perk up to read the poem and remember.
-Sam
Of the Commenting Crusaders
But Mary, I had most of these on my 'To Do' list for my retirement years, now what am I gonna do? lol
This is exceptional. I loved the writing, the wisdom and the humour.
Welcome !
