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Silence
by Janelle Martin-Dent (Age: 23)
copyright 06-30-2007


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
Silence is a friend I seldom meet,
I treasure it and seek it, yet
It is becoming harder and
Harder to find.
The world is so loud
At home and away.
It seems the only place
I can now find my friend
Is in sleep.
And so,
When I find silence outside of sleep,
I mentally cheer
And sing;
Never out loud for fear
Of scaring my friend away.


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07-15-2007 Jack Curson    

Excellent and funny, I pray for this everyday. Wanting the silence to envelope me completly. Something to the effect of lying in a pool of water, where nothing around me permeates my mind. But then I have to listen to myself. Silence is a friend I long to have.
06-30-2007 Leigh G.    

Very nice! I like the way you convey your thoughts on common elements of poems, not in the usual rambling and ranting about the topic, but calmly sharing your feelings in a poetic way. Very solid structure, and only a few stags in the flow. For example, in line two, I'd put the "yet" on line three. Also, the third to last line seems a little awkward. No real errors, but I thought I'd point that out. :) Good work on proper capitalization! I'm a caps freak. XD Great work! Keep it coming!

Leigh of the Commenting Community
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