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Shaking Hands With Death
by
Jordan Screws
(Age: 21)
copyright 10-14-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Hello Grim Reaper,
How fare you today?
Have you come here
To take my soul away?
I'm right here,
I'm not going to run
I have no fear of you
Now that life is no fun.
How did it get that way?
It is quite simple to tell:
My family life took a barrel roll
Straight down into Hell.
It is quite a long story
And you have a lot to do
But let me tell you this:
It will turn even you blue!
Should I get a gun
And place it in my mouth?
Or dangle from a rope and end
With my feet pointing south?
No... those ways are too quick
I need a slower, longer way
To end all of my misery
And give the mortician some pay.
Can I really end it all?
Can I relly end it now?
If I can really do it,
I have only one question: how?
Cutting my wrists is slow,
Not to mention truly cliche
I really want to end it all
I have no real reason to stay.
I think I have it,
Perhaps I really do!
I'll go off and fight
for the Red, White, and Blue!
What's stopping me now?
With my whole world gone
It hardly matters to me
If I'm a gun-toting pawn.
No... they are worthy of honor
And it would not really do
To use the nation's defenders
In order to meet my Waterloo.
It is really a hard choice
So I will quote a song:
Should I stay or should I go
And for exactly how long?
Hello Grim Reaper,
How fare you today?
Have you come here to
Take my soul away?
Sorry for the delay,
But I really can't decide;
If you really wanted to go,
How would you commit suicide?
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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04-07-2008 Lauren T.
Very dark, I like it.
Your opening hooks me in and keeps me reading more and more. Its very sarcasic in the way you say,
"Hello Grim Reaper,
How fare you today?
Have you come here
To take my soul away?"
I just happen to really like it.
Good job.
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03-05-2008 Eric Gasparich
You've spoken before of what elicited this, and I will not betray your confidence here. This is, I would guess, your attempt to get your mind around it, for the sake of sanity.
I do not get too troubled by people who talk of suicide. It was Walker Percy who spoke of ex-suicides and how they are the freest people on earth. By that he meant, of course, someone who has considered suicide as a real, viable option. The logic of it works this way: Once you do that you realize you are free i.e. you don't have to go to work this morning. You could always kill yourself. By then going to work, you are doing so in complete freedom of choice.
Likewise joining the Military (You are really going to like a certain element in my story) is an honorable way to end it, but there are no guarantees. You might even live. Most soldiers do. So consider the option as just one more free choice.
How would I commit suicide? I wouldn't worry about it. Life, by definition, is a failure. You'll die soon enough. In the meantime, live, till your life burns out. That'll show'em.
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04-13-2007 David Pekrul
This is a really poignant piece of work, quite sarcastic really, but makes its point. Lately we have been losing a few Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan and I'm starting to understand how the Americans feel about losing their boys. This is the first combat that Canadian soldiers have seen since World War II. Since that time our military became what is known as "Peace Keepers", well respected in every country of the world, working with the United Nations. Now we are on the offensive in Afghanistan (you probably don't hear too much about it in the UK or America) and we are losing our guys and it hurts.
War stinks and it is suicide, but I think you have brought that point across quite well.
I do think, however that you should raise the reading age, as I don't think 10year olds should have to worry about those things. Just let them be kids.
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03-21-2007 Walter Jones
It is the writer that lives to give spirit to voice heard. Craft lends to a mind and rebel seeking place in mental images placed carefully, political solitude lent drama sent. in bedded reporter...Walt
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03-20-2007 Samantha P.
Sad, but yet so true. If only the people that thought of suicide would join the army that way their lives would not be lost in vein. This has made me quite sad realizing that I too have thought of this. I am ashamed to tell the truth, but I cannot lie. By the way you made a mistake
Can I really end it now? The 7th paragraph or section down.
Samantha
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01-31-2007 Chelsea Armstrong
This is an amazing peiece of work, though I find it a bit disturbing. "How would you commit suicide?" I guess one would never really stop and ask themselves such a question, though it does make one wonder what they truely would die for. True love? Nah, that only happens in the movies....but for something we strongly believe in? Perhaps...beautiful display of words, and remarkable visions brought with each word. Great job.
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01-18-2007 Leigh G.
Remember what I said back in March when you were talking about joining the army? And I said, "We all want you to stay in this world. I want you to stay in this world."? I feel I should have been the first comment, but if you read "It's Gotta Be Goodbye" you'll understand a little more. Very good flow here, rhymes and the sort. Though the idea is grim, you got it to flow in a poem darker than my old work. Recently, I've been doing less dark stuff, or extremely dark stuff. No spelling or grammars as far as I could see too. Keep writing, you've always got readers and people who care on PnP. To my first statement, I still feel that way. You're a really good friend, Jordan.
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
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01-18-2007 Mark Lawson
I do like the story that this poem tells about a suicide's method of choice to die. However, do do agree with Mike in that it does appear to have more importance in this piece toward rhyming. It also feels to me that certain lines reach a...loss of words for lack of a better way to put it. In particular this is evident to me in lines 16 & 24. These two lines just do not seem to have the flow that the rest of the poem maintains. I think that perhaps a quick edit would cure this problem though. Other than this good job on the write.
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12-10-2006 Mike Macdonald
You got a lot of potential in this one, lemme tell ya. Several verses stuck out for me.
Your first step toward making this piece really shine is editing each line for rhyming. There are many instances where you clearly put more importance on rhyming words than the lines, themselves.
Really, that seems to be the biggest issue here. Go through and clean that up, and I'll get back to you.
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11-06-2006 Toni Sweeney
hmm... I never thought that going off fighting for your country could count a sucide but I guess it could. You got your point across very well. This is a well thought and written poem. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forwad to reading some more. :)
Toni
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10-28-2006 Kimberly Prom
It is fairly okay. I support bush...either way..I do give credit for your marvelous writing. Must say lovely write.
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10-17-2006 Shannon W.
Wow this is good on so many levels. I myself detest Bush. Thanks for entering my contest.
Hope things are well,
Shannon
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10-15-2006 Deborah Thomas
Suicide by battle? Yet another unusual demise.
I assume this is for Shannon's contest?
My own father did exactly that.. volunteered for the 'suicide squad', front line re-con, in Viet Nam after my mom divorced him. It finally killed him... 30 agonizing years later of Agent Orange. Cancer was the killer, but the trauma took my dad away years before he died.
So, yes it can be done, but it comes with the same chances of any other method of suicide.. the act not killing, but injuring and leaving a far worse life than before.
Like David, I really like the part where you mention joining the military.
I have a hard time reading about suicide, but I have to remember that sometimes it's just literature.. I don't really have to worry about the person writing's soul... or do I?
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10-15-2006 David Pekrul
At first I thought it was a little cheesy and melodramatic, but then you put a political twist on it and I perked up and paid attention. Nice little dig at ol' Mr. Bush and his foreign policy.
I wonder how many who join the U.S. Military, think that it is just another way of committing suicide.
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