It's Gotta Be Goodbye
by
Leigh G.
(Age: 14)
copyright 12-01-2006
Age Rating: 10 to 127
It's gotta be goodbye...forever
I let fear brainwash me into hating you
I let that hate convince me I never wanted to talk to you again
You were around when I was talking to somebody else,
But I only acknowledged you with a "konnichiwa, saynara"
I told myself I hated you
I forced my mind void of your memory
I forced my hear void of you
I talked to you one night...
And you're back on my mind
I said "sayonara" in the "goodbye forever" way once
Because I couldn't be around when you needed me
I betrayed you - because I'm back for my best friend when I didn't stay for you
Don't get me wrong - I loved you
Don't get me wrong - I still love you one later after I realized I loved you
But friendship I can control...
The protective love I feel for my friends is too different from the love I feel for you
It's a lot easier to control
The love I feel and felt for you is so unstable
If I can't focus and stay stable, how can I protect anybody?
You most likely think you were only a friend to me
And we had a brittle friendship that shattered.
There I said goodbye,
But it was only because you were so much more than a friend
I wanted to get away before I couldn't forget about you
But I still think of you
I loved you
But I can't
So,
I say goodbye forever again,
Hopefully this time the forever won't be a lie
I can tell you're lonesome
I can tell you're not happy
I'm lonesome too.
May you find somebody who loves you that won't abandon you for the sake of rationality someday
Out of all the stories I tell,
This story is my own.
I've lived every line.
I miss you
Sayonara
...I'll always think of you, just please don't think of me.
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There are no words to describe this. Marvelous maybe? Astounding? All I can say is, I wish things hadn't turned out this way for you. You're lonesome, yet you don't deserve to be. I wish you well for the future. I vow to always be here as your friend.
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