03-20-2007
Samantha Powers
I was a bit confused at this piece. But yet again i wasn't. It kind of makes sense to me in a weird emotion because we can all feel different at the same time but yet the same.
i really love a lot of your work.
Keep up the good work
Maybe you could comment on my work...or not
Samantha
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12-10-2006
Mike Macdonald
Almost sounds like a song. Some of the imagery is pretty neat, but this one line has me raising my eyebrow:
"A pebbled brook cracking with cold"
is "cracking" really the word you're looking for? is the brook frozen solid? if it is, maybe there's a better way to word this line.
glad you're still working that writing muscle.
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12-09-2006
David Pekrul
I read this and pictured a night in Canada's frozen north. I've visited the northern parts of this country and it is indeed lonely. Great descriptions that can mean different things to different people, but this is what I saw in this piece.
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12-07-2006
Deborah Thomas
Jim has noted your skill in wonderful detail.
I will reach for your heart, and warm it under the blanket of stars in the winter sky. If only...
Each line could be a description of a long winter's walk...
Each line could just as easily be a metaphor for the end of one's life. A couple of them reaching for something to hold on to; the far flung stars are out of reach; then nearer to the end, one reaches out for the comfort of spring, but of course winter is still set.. it can not be changed.
BUT, one thing I disagree with... the road does lead somewhere. And does one truly have to be alone?
Beautiful...
Debbie
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12-06-2006
James Shammas
This non-rhyming work is the style that I like to write. Like Wallace Stevens: lots of internal rhyme and relaxed alliteration. Comfortable syntax and meter are both there too, despite the lack of end-rhymes.
Subject-wise, I also hear Stevens. I see the pristine beauty and inviting qualities of nature in this poem, but with an unfortunate twist: no human being is present to enjoy it all. In fact, maybe it is indeed the natural world-- the trees, the brook, and the clouds in the poem-- that are lonely and long for the missing human who would inhabit it all. Great depiction of loneliness!
Jim
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