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Lost Tears, a Sailor Moon Story
Prologue
by Raycel M. (Age: 13)
copyright 12-22-2006


Age Rating: 1 to 127

  Lost Tears, a Sailor Moon Story
Picture Credits:

"Lost Tears," I read as I scanned the cover of a book that my father had recently given me for my eighteenth birthday. "What's it about?"
"It's about Princess Small Lady one hundred and sixty years ago." said my father, "I read it over and over again, it's such a touching story.
I looked at the cover again, it had Princess small lady kneeling, Helios, the Pegasus, standing next to her, and a dragon curled around them both.
"Dad," I said, "you know I don't like reading, yet for my birthday, you give me a book."
"It's a family heirloom." my dad answered. "When ever our children turnes eighteen, we give him or her the book."
"But dad," I argued, "when I read the cover, I immediatly lost intrest in it."
"Now Caroline." a voice said from the darkness, I whirled around to see my Granddad standing behind me. for a man who looked like he was twenty, he was actually two hundred years old. "Don't they say: 'don't judge a book by it's cover'?" Granddad continued.
"Yes, but--"
"Then read it," Granddad said. "I read it my self about one hundred times, and I got it memorized by heart."
"But seriously," I laughed, "dragons? The last moon dragon died out sixty hundred years ago, or so I'm taught in school."
"Ah," father said, taking my shoulders and squeezing them, "You're at the age of not believing. I was like that too when I first got the book, but you're grandfather told me never to stop beleiving...in a very special way."
Dad looked at granddad and smiled mysteriously. Then he nodded and walked out of my room shutting the door behind him.
"Caroline," said granddad, sitting on my bed and patting the sheet next to him, I groaned inside my head.
"Something tells me this is going to take a while." I thought grimly as I took a seat next to him.
"I am going to do the samething that I did to you're father. Neo Queen Sereinity gave me a special gift, so I'm going to show it to you." granddad said, he held up the book armlength and muttered a few indecipherable words, then right before my eyes, the dragon on the cover of the book winked at me!
"Show this unbeliever the true story of Princess Small Lady!" My granddad declared, he threw the book up in the air and muttered a few more poppy cock words, the book glowed bright yellow, it almost blinded me!
"Show the legened unto us! BY THE LIGHT OF PRINCESS SMALL LADY!" granddad cried, the book grew brighter and larger, then it spun around, then it burst into small fireflies. One landed on me, and I closed my eyes, when I opened them, I gasped, I was no longer in my room, I was in the Crystal Palace!!
"Don't be afraid," said my granddad, "just watch..."


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-18-2007 Alma H.    

This is a really good book so far. I won't say anything about this chapter being short because it was a prologue. I have found a few mistakes myself. In the area where she is about to sit on her bed next to her granddad it says 'I'll going to do the samething...' same and thing need a space. Then later that sentence, 'that I did to you're father..' The 'you're' is the wrong one (it should be your) Other than that, it sounds like a really good book. One to the next chapter! Talk to you later.
~Alma H.


04-24-2007 Leigh G.    

Very promising! Although now I feel so lame because I've only completed one book that's on PnP, which I'm sad to admit is mine, the other book Shadows Souls I started submitting but it needs so much editing it's ungodly so it's been neglected, and the book I finished a while back, Past Alive, need editing. -.- I congratulate you! Here for six months (or so...I think...) and you've already got a promising book up! I can't complain about any lumpy sentences or anything else of the like, either. :D Alas, I cannot continue right now but this story sounds very, very promising! Great work, I can't wait to read the next chapter!


Leigh of the Commenting Community

P.S. Don't doubt Meh! She's my official editor...XD She should be paid something though...


03-30-2007 Mehrina B.    

That was quite an interesting start! The tale of Princess Small Lady!

I'll say this: you seem to have a good idea where this book is going to go, and it looks promising! Your introduction was a particular attention-grabber! And descriptions were vivid; I especially like the adjectives and adverbs in this. I'm glad you use such because books without any descriptions are *very* boring!

Besides, I'm drawn to books with dragons in them more than magnets are to iron....

There's only one huge flaw in this: the spelling and grammar. It's vital that you give this book a few rounds of editing. Separate the sentences with periods, not commas, and make sure to get the spelling right! If ever you want any help with editing, I'm only an e-mail away! Editing is something of an unpaid profession of mine.

Good beginning and good job!

Her Wisdom
~*Athena*~
Of....


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Total Reads: 126
Comments: 3

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