The Closed Door
by
BJ Niktabe
(Age: 50)
copyright 01-06-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Picture Credits: http://www.kafkiano.blogspot.com
April walked through the house aimlessly. It was empty now, no life in it except her own. She went from room to room, opening doors, peering in for a moment, then closing the door once more. Anyone who saw her would think she had lost something behind one of those doors.
She walked to the kitchen and slowly began to open cabinet doors. She did the same with each door: opened it, looked in for a moment, then shut it. But she paused at one door after she opened it. She stood there motionless, staring inside. She was staring at an unopened package of Fig Newtons. She had always hated Fig Newtons, but Jake loved them. She reached for the package, opened it and took out a cookie. She bit off the corner like it was a new experience for her. She closed her eyes and watched as the memories of days past danced behind her eyelids.
She saw their first date, their first dance, their first kiss. She absentmindedly took another bite as she kept watching. She saw the wedding, the birth of the twins, the babies crying in the delivery room, the first day of school. Jake had stayed home that day, knowing she would be a wreck. Once the kids were off to school, he held her, assuring her that it would be easier tomorrow, and the next day. He was her strength, her rock, through their entire life together. She took another bite and watched their life story.
The story was coming to a close. Jake had left for work a month ago, but he never made it. She prayed that he hadn't seen that truck coming at him from the left. He died before the pieces of the car had stopped falling to the street. The twins had both come home with their wives for a week, but they were busy now making their own life stories. Now she was alone with just her memories. She didn't know what to do to fill her days. She was lost.
She put the package of Fig Newtons back in the cupboard and closed the door. She moved on to the next cabinet, opened the door, looked in, then closed it softly. She continued through the kitchen in that manner, then started through the house once more. There was no one there to tell her that it would be easier tomorrow, and the next day. That door would never be opened again.
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And who said good stories couldn't be written in 5 paragraphs? This was awesome! I would definitely love to read some of the other entries. This was an awesome story/contest idea, you should post some more, even if they're not in contest form. It was fun to write, and fun to read.
The idea of doors and memories, and the food behind a door triggering those memories... was awesome. I love stories that reveal tragic events and a "tortured" mind.
It appears that you've met the challenge. Good job.
I do have a few suggestions. Since you're writing in past tense, I would change this sentence: She did the same with each door: open it, look in for a moment, then shut it.
To: She did the same with each door: opened it, looked in for a moment, then shut it.
Also, I would either include a "but" in this sentence or punctuate with a semi-colon: Jake had left for work a month ago, he never made it.
This story was written for a writing challenge on someone's blog. It was a fun challenge, so I am making a contest out of it.
The Rules...
1. Story should be no longer than 5 paragraphs, but can be any length.
2. Someone must die, it doesn't have to be an important character.
3. A baby must cry, sometime during the story, and can just be in the background.
4. You must loosely include one of these phrases:
a. She always hated fig newtons.
b. Wildcard games are nothing without at least one dip.
c. The lettuce and tomatoes were always fresh.
d. That door would never be opened again.
e. Clouds were afraid of this part of the world.
f. She never once said anything about love.
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