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On Line
Muhd Aizuddin Ali
Frank Fields
2 Writers

Nicole Murray
Shamara Ryan
Leah Garrison
Michael Therrien
4 Free Members

6 Members
16 Guests

Flame of Desire
by Mark Lawson (Age: 21)
copyright 09-19-2007


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
A silent flame
Enshrouded in darkness
Dancing with the night
Unafraid
Alone
A lustful illusion
Mesmerizing
Drawing one close
Unknowingly
Reaching out
Wanting to take hold
Desiring, needing
To become one
Only to be burned
The pain lingers on
A reminder of the beauty
And the pain
Doth love bring
Hand in hand
Acceptance of one
Is experience of the other guaranteed
Retaining purity


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11-01-2007 Lacey Ruppel    

There is something very intriguing about this poem. I read it over ad over and each time I found something new in it. I think it may be all the emotion that is in the words. I also really enjoyed all of the imagery in this poem. It has a mournful yet beautiful quality to it.

A very good write!

-Lacey
10-16-2007 Samantha P.    

Jeeze, my head hurts with all the emotions described in this, plus ure description was so beautiful We all have a flame of desire, and those who hide it usually have an even big desire, which would be to let it show
You describe so much in so few words it was amazing, and it makes you think. Plus there are many different opnions on this so if you re read it you see something different each time.
Very good write, i loved it
Antha
of the CC
09-22-2007 Frank Fields    

I've read this through many times, now. I like the opening and development. At least up until the point where the word "Doth" is used. After that, it seems to become frayed, not as directional as before that. The format is a little unusual but it's appropriate for the style of presentation. The imagery is good. I like the undercurrents of a dance being played out. But I think you would have a really beautiful piece if you went back in and looked at the ending lines. Like from "Doth." Don't mean to sound terribly picky here, or repetitive of what others have said, but your work starts out so fine. I think there is some disappointment it doesn't carry through, totally.

Frank :)
Member of


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Comments: 3

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